Both Sides | ✓

Chapter 7

Cleo's POV:

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Olivia's sheets were easy to fall asleep in. I had to shake myself awake every few minutes. Via kept her eyes on me, awaiting my defeat into slumber which wouldn't be coming anytime soon. I had to stay alert, as stupid as that sounds. I've never had someone willing to be around me and letting my guard down may erase that. She might start to see whatever everyone else does that terrifies them so badly.

"You can sleep if you'd like," Via said. I glanced at her, barely noticing her smile and lingering eyes.

"No, no. I don't wanna."

"Okay, then watching TV isn't the best choice. You'll end up falling asleep."

"True," I admitted. "Any ideas on what to do?"

Olivia grinned as she reached over to the table beside her and pulled a biology textbook forward. "We could study for that test tomorrow"

"I already did, remember?"

"More practice has never hurt anyone," she said, flipping to a marked page. "How about I quiz you? Or we can go over the notes I took. Ooh, or we can-"

"I'd have better luck not falling asleep with the TV."

"Cleo, please," Olivia said with a short laugh. "It'll be good for you! You need all the practice you can get."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I frowned.

"Nothing. Just that, well, I want you to do well on this test. I am your tutor, after all."

"Okay, yeah. But, I studied for a few hours last night, so it's not like I'm not trying."

"I'm glad you studied but, you can always try harder. It's not like taking a couple pages of notes will turn you into a great student overnight. You've gotta keep pushing yourself."

"Why? All I need to do is pass," I said as I sat up and evened my eyes to hers.

"You don't want to be better than you are?"

I let out a hollow laugh. "Actually, I'm quite happy with who I am. It feels like you're the only person who isn't."

"Oh, come on. I never said that. I just mean-"

"Look, Via, I'm not an idiot. I know what you're doing. All the tutoring sessions, buying me books, making me study? You're trying to turn me into you," I said.

"What? No, I'm not. Why would I do that?"

"Oh, I don't know," I let out. "Maybe because you can't accept people who aren't polished and perfect? And if someone isn't, you feel like you have to polish them." I wasn't sure why this was all coming out, why I was suddenly so upset. "I'm perfectly fine with myself, Olivia. So, I'm sorry if I'm not the person you wanted in your life, but-"

"Cleo, what the hell? I was never trying to turn you into me! I'm sorry that I tried to help you but you're overreacting."

"'Help me'? The only person you're helping here is yourself. You don't give a shit whether I do good on some bio test. You just want to make sure your little friends don't see you hanging out with someone who's less than you. The fact is that you don't think I'm good enough."

She blinked back at me. "I just think you're different than what you show people."

"Well, I'm not. This is me. I'm mean and lazy and stubborn and don't need to get straight A's to feel like I have a speck of value," I said as I stood, watching Olivia's eyebrows furrow.

"I... I don't-"

"Yeah, you do. And you think you're so smart for seeking out the fucked up girl at school and trying to turn her around. This isn't a game where you can mix and match my personality traits so I'm the person you want to see. You aren't my friend, Olivia. You're not my friend or my girlfriend or my mentor. You're just my tutor, so stop acting like you know anything about me."