Realizing

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Noah's POV

I have been at this party since 9 pm and it's almost midnight now. I have been pounding back shots hoping that they would numb the visions and feelings of Megan, but to my dismay they only got worse with every little bit I drank. You think I would have stopped by now but I can't... I'm addicted to her. And I can't stop thinking about her.

I missed waking up to her this morning... Almost every morning I have woken up before her and I just lay there and watch her sleep. Her hair is all tousled about and I love the way her eyelids flutter as she dreams. And throughout the night in her sleep she wraps herself more and more around me like a vine of ivy. I have never been the type of person that really likes sleeping with other people and I have always needed my space, but this morning it felt like something was missing and I just didn't feel comfortable... I wanna tell myself it had nothing to do with her and it's because today's the day I lost my sister, but I know I can't use that as an excuse.

Not only did I miss out on waking up beside her, but I missed out on the morning sex... God, the morning sex. I mean I love fucking the shit out of her all night... I can go for hours, listening to her screams, and enjoying my name fallings from her lips over and over. And every time I bend her over and she pushes herself all the way down onto the bed so her ass is straight up in the air... and then she will tilt her head to the side so she can look back up at me pounding into her from behind. The sexiest thing in the world is when she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth and moans for me to go harder. That about makes me come on the spot every time... Fuck I need her right now. I want to see her... touch her... or at least hear her voice.

"Hey man you want another drink?" Jack walks up to me with a red solo cup, shoving it in my face.

"Nah, I'm good." I slur, while pushing the cup away.

"I'll be right back." I stand up to quick. I hold onto the nearest chair for balance as I let the dizziness pass. Damn, I am fucked up. I have drunk a lot... When I was clear headed enough to walk, I pushed past a confused Jack. I never turn down a drink no matter how fucked up I am , but right now all I can think about is hearing her voice. It's all I can think about. I stumble into someone, quickly apologizing before I see who it is... Piece of shit. I lean back coming face to face with Christian... the asshole who dared to lay hands on my girl.

"Oh, look who it is... The douchebag who likes to beat up on ladies..." I laughed out. I could feel the alcohol start to really take over my mind and body now... And when this happens, I always do something stupid. Time to start some trouble. Maybe that will take my mind off her. I roughly jab his shoulder, making sure to hit him hard enough so he shuffled backwards a little. He jumped forward a little, but some dude behind him grabs his arm pulling him back. You want to fight you piece of shit? Go ahead asshole.

"Lady?" He scoffed while shaking his head. I could feel my blood start to boil under my skin. He needs to be careful what he says next.

"She isn't a lady... She fucked you while she was dating me. And she probably fucked other guys while she was with me too." I took a step forward, trying to remind myself to stay calm. Don't get arrested... Tonight of all nights. Even though this piece of shit deserves his ass beat again.

"We never fucked while you guys were together." I spit out at him. We might have kissed, but she wanted to break up with him before we did anything else.

"Oh, but I bet you fuck her now huh? Well you can have the whore." I immediately snapped at his words. My body jumped forward while my arm cranked back before flying forward and my fist coming into full contact with Christian's right cheek. His body jolted back into his friends and I could feel multiple arms grab me from behind me.

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