Their own definition of perfect(solangelo au)

note to self: don't get hospitalised again

trigger warning. self harm, and such....

These lights are too bright. Nico thought

Wait. Why do I feel light? I thought I was dead. Why am I not dead?! Nico jolted up, another voice said, ''oh good your up. Your boyfriend's been worried.'' The doctor was a man, shirt brown hair, Hazel eyes.
Boyfriend?

Minutes later, the door swung open, Hazel, Hades, and Will.

Oh gods. Will. How could I have forgotten him!?
Because, he doesn't matter.' Said the voice again,
'Mardra. I'm still alive.''

''Nico!" Haze and Will both shrieked at the same pitch.
The two had the same reaction, they both sprinted to Nico, throwing their arms around him. Hazel kissed him on the cheek, and Will looked as if he wanted to also, but didn't.

next the doctors asked questions. They acted sympathetic, but Nico knew they weren't doing it because they felt bad; it was just their job.
''You say you hear voices?"
Nico nodded his head, nervously.
I'm not insane. Nothing will happen. I'm okay.
The doctor wrote something on a clip board.
Don't freak out Nico. You have to make it through the day. Get in the hospital. Get out. These people are here to help, not hurt.
''we'll have to hospitalize you for a while, is that okay Nico?" The doctor smiled. It was a man with blond hair-he obviously worked in pediatrics, younger kids.
''We'll take good care of you.''
''You would have been better off dead.'' Said the voice again.
''Shut up!" Nico yelled, immediately regretting it. Pain surged through his body. Through his arms where the IV's went into his skin, through the cuts made my the razor blades, to his head where he had it when he had collapsed. And his heart. Because he knew it was true.
......

Nico did not like the hospital. His arms hurt, the bandages put on them were to tight, and too brightly colored. He missed Hazel, he missed Will, heck-he even missed his, 'dad'

Nico didn't like the medicine he had to take. The colorful pills, the liquids that they injected into his body. One more day. One more day. He thought to himself

''Hey Neeks!" Will smiled and came in one day, ''didja miss me?" Will said, sitting at the end of Nico's bed.

Nico's cheeks reddened. ''N-no.''

Will chuckled, giving Nico a peck on the forehead. Nico proceeding to blush harder, then covering his face up 

A nurse entered the room. Nico was surprised he was allowed nurses to enter his room-let alone visitors. Nico assumed if his attempt of suicide failed, he'd be put in an asylum, or put in a hospital, and labeled, 'crazy' that was why he could not fail. The nurse handed him a tray, filled with suspicious looking green globs, and mystery meat. Nico didn't want anything to do with it. However, the nurse smiled at him-one of the smiles that was made for one thing: guilt. Nico, with a shaky hand, picked the plastic cup of water, and swallowed down a count of five pills. three white, one tan, and one blue. All do different things to 'help him.'  Nico was monitored, to make sure he ate all the food, and took all the pills, made sure he didn't hurt himself. Nico knew he'd never find anything sharp in his room. Once he had attempted to scratch himself until he bled. Apparently the hospital it was in-made for kids, age 1, to 17, didn't believe in straight jackets, shock therapy, or isolation. They gave Nico an even worse punishment-forced socialization. 

The room they call, the happy room, was painted with enough colors that even little gay Nico couldn't understand. The blinding white walls, only made him wish for his black bedroom stalked with books by all offers. He was lucky he had Will to bring him new books every day. 

One for headaches
one to stop 'seeing things'
one for depression
one for anxiety
one for pain. 

and this was only in the mornings. 

They called him things, labeled as things, things that Nico only understood from all his reading, Bipolar, Dementia, schizophrenic, depressed, suicidal, PTSD. 

He wasn't these things. right?

That would make Nico crazy. -which he wasn't. right?

But Nico had to wonder, did he feel any different after he started the medication? 

"Their poisoning you Nico.." 

The voice had spoken for the first time in weeks since his near-death experience. 

"If it makes me healthy, what does it matter?"

'healthy'' it mocked,  ''Nico, we both know the reason.."

"No...."

"you...

"Please''

"can't face yourself"

"That isn't true!"

"can't look at yourself in the mirror..."

"That's because i can't do it without seeing you too!" Nico yelled, both angry, terrified, and sad. 

Nico shook. He was alone, no family, no friends no nurses. 

The demon inside him said in a quiet, hissing whisper, "because... you fell for the boy across the street." The angel and demon said inside. 

"its okay bambino.." (Baby)

It was too much to hope for, but Nico said, his voice cracked, "B-Bianca?"

Nico looked up, this time, on his bedside, was Bianca, but it couldn't have been. Bianca had been dead for several years, but hear she was, alive as ever, only a bit more pale then last time. 

Nico sprung from his bed, wrapping his arms around her, breathing in  her sent,  one he had long forgotten,  she smelt of vanilla, and chocolate, and coffee beans, an amazing sent, that reminded Nico of their old home in Italy. 

Nico missed her too much, when the door creaked open. He didn't even turn. He loved his sister, and missed her so much, he didn't care if all the world thought he was nuts. He had Bianca back. 

_

The next day there was more pills with his vial break fast. He didn't have enough time to decipher what exactly they were or did. But he knew part of the reason had to be because of Bianca. Only two were the same the one for pain, and the one for headaches, they must had upped his dosage. 

"Their poisoning you.." whispered his inner demons, he tried to ignore them, it was easy to believe their words, but he had to stay in control. Or at least appear in control.

after that Nico never really was alone. When he didn't have friends visiting, he had Hazel, or Bianca. That left little time for the demons to come after him. Or was it the medication? That didn't explain Bianca appearances, not that he minded, she was nicer out of the others that did of her kind. Nico would treasure the short moments he go back spending it with her. Every day would build up, make up for her time being dead. It didn't matter how wrong, unhealthy, or impossible it was. He had his big sister again. Even if she happened to be simply what the doctors called it, a hallucination, so be it. It was better than being left with demons to confide with, struggling to keep in control of.