Only Gay For You. (Book one of the Midnight In Rome series)

Part 19

 Nico

I float into my house virtually on cloud nine smiling happily to myself as I drift upstairs and strip throwing my clothes in the hamper as I pass heading straight into the bathroom for a shower, I have no idea what I'm doing with Aspen, I like him, really like him but I don't know if I can date him, although I think dating is pretty much what I am doing now, I just don't want to label anything or make anything complicated, I definitely don't want to hurt him, but my god the sex is unlike anything I have ever known in my life and the Orgasms holy crap, I am pretty sure I had a prostate orgasm tonight and I didn't know I had that much cum even with women.

I turn the water on to heat up and step in but when the water hits my back a cold chill runs up my spine in spite of the warm water, the room now fades as I am transported to a bathroom I hoped I would never see again, breathing is getting increasingly difficult as I slide down the wall panting and trying to catch my breath, that bastards booming voice plays over in my head I was about ten or eleven and I had been playing in my mums jewellery box a few necklaces around my neck and bracelets on my ears pretending they were earnings I had been pretending to sing an alice cooper song and gotten a little too loud, he had came upstairs to tell me off and caught me with the jewellery, he decided a boy should not be wearing jewellery and that I was a faggot if I thought that was okay he had been hitting me with his belt when my mom ran in, she tried to stop him so he punched her, it was the first time I saw him break her nose.

I was struggling to breathe, oxygen coming in in wispy pants, I knew what this was now I was having a panic attack, I pulled a towel from the warmer next to the shower over my lap as I sat in a heap under the spray I must have shouted because I heard commotion in my room as my mum burst in the door.

"Nico, oh my god Nico!" my mum shouts trying to get me to look at her and calm down.

"get Aspen" I manage to weakly croak and she nods and rushes from the room, my fear at him seeing me like this was far less than my need for comfort right now, a few seconds later Aspen springs into the room.

"Nico! Are you okay your mum said I needed to hurry!" he says taking one look at me before dropping his phone and climbing into the shower in what looked suspiciously like his most comfy pyjamas. By now I was wheezing trying to get my lungs to expand but it was not working, not worried about his clothes he got in at the side of me putting his arm around my back and taking my other hand I immediately gripped his hand back tightly

"take some deep breaths like me okay? In... out... in... out that's it keep going" he says calmly while rubbing my back and breathing in time with me.

When I have calmed down enough to breathe I pull him into me tucking his head against my chest it felt nice to just hold him.

"thank you," I say when I am calm enough to speak.

"it is okay what happened?" he asks peeking up to look at me, I let him move slightly now I don't need him so close realising he is soaked to the skin in his pyjamas.

"A panic attack happened at random, not had one in a while and not as bad as that," I say still trying to calm my breathing.

"what started it?" he asks innocently but careful not to overstep.

"memories of my father, he was mad I had been playing in mum's jewellery box," I say matter-of-factly and he just hugs me.

"Where is my mum?" I ask wondering if she would come in.

"she was shaken up so she is having a coffee with my mom," he says kissing my cheek but that isn't enough for my thankfulness he came to comfort me so I tilt his head back and kiss him properly, when we part I am breathless for a good reason.

"feeling better?" he asks looking into my eyes and I nod.

"let us get you washed off and then we can both get dry okay?" he says with a smile and I nod helping him remove his soaking wet clothing and throw them in my sink, he helps me to my feet and begins to wash me gently, I return the favour and then wash his hair and he washes mine before we both wrap in a towel and shut off the shower.

I sit on my bed and pull him close to me.

"thank you for coming, I didn't know what else to do," I say burying my face in his neck.

"your mum told me you needed me I didn't need to hear anything else I will always be here for you" he says wrapping his arms around me and kissing my head.

"you really care about me that much?" I ask looking into his eyes.

"yes, I... I do" he says sweetly I might not know what I want to do about us but I am glad he is by my side right now.

"thank you" I say again kissing him and enjoying the feeling of him close as we lay on my bed.

With his arms wrapped around my waist, he whispers in my ear "It's going to be alright, I'm not going anywhere, I'll hold you all night and always."