Love Finds A Way

9

WHEN I head home, Petah's standing by my doorstep with a pair of sunglasses covering her eyes. I thought that she'd headed back to New York already, "if this has to do with your feelings, I'm really not in the mood," she removes the sunglasses, and I notice that she's been crying. Her eyes are so red, and streaks of tears have stained her pink cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I—"

"Come inside," my heart immediately softens. I lead her into the living room, and we both sit on the loveseat.

"I need you, Xo," she whispers, causing me to lean forward. I'm not disgusted by it, but I'm not happy either. She's the mother of my four kids, and her feelings do matter to me.

"I can't give you my heart. But I'm always here for you, you know that."

"But I need more," she whispers. I look into those brown eyes, and find nothing that I'm looking for. The journey that we shared has come to an end, for a while now actually.

"I love you, always. But I'm not in love with you, and you need to accept that," she begins to tear up, and all I want to do is hold her tight, but I'll let her go. I don't belong to her anymore, and she doesn't belong to me.

"Mom!" Mary yells, as she walks into the living room, "oh," she looks at us, and a blush rises onto her cheeks.

"Hey, hun," Petah pulls away, and wipes away her tears. Mary's eyes widen, and she rushes over. No matter how much Mary and Petah have their disagreements, she's still her mother.

"What's wrong?" Mary drops to her knees in front of the couch, and rests her head on Petah's lap. I feel uncomfortable, and decide to give them a moment alone. Heading into the kitchen, I see Jane holding onto her stomach, and panting against the kitchen island.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" I rush over, and help her towards a chair. She sits and leans back.

"He's kicking," Jane whispers, and my eyes widen. I place my hand over her stomach, and feel the thumbs of vibrations.

"It's a boy?" I ask. Jane's grinning and looking at me, "when did you find out?"

"Today, actually. I'm so tired," she yawns. I can imagine that the bakery is a lot to handle, even though they have assistance.

"Mom," Mary walks in, and wipes a few tears from her eyes, "will you please go on a date with her?" Oh my god, she even got to Mary. Being sympathetic always gets me in trouble.

I look at Jane, and she shrugs. What happened to them pushing me to date Bethany? I miss it now.

"I—" I want to make an excuse. But I can never, ever say no when it comes to my biological child.

"Please?" Mary begs. Those puppy dog eyes have finally begun to annoy me. I shake my head, and stand up.

"No, Mary. And you'll agree with me when you're thinking straight," she frowns, as Petah enters the kitchen. I look between all three of them, and clench my fists, "you should all leave now, I really want to be alone," I'm glad that I live alone. It means that I can kick anyone out.

"Mommy, pretty please?" I can see pleading eyes on all three of them. But no, I'm not going to listen.

PETAH LEAVES with Jane, but Mary stays behind, and keeps on giving me those puppy dog eyes. I do laundry, and tidy the kitchen. And she's not more than two steps away from me whining, "I really could use some space, Mary," I'm so upset and irritated. I need a hot bath, and a few glasses of wine to calm the ridiculous thumping in my brain.

"Please, Mommy. Just one date," she holds her index finger up, and I immediately think about Blue. He has the cutest fingers.

"I'll leave then," I mumble, as I storm out of the kitchen. I grab my jacket from the closet, and a pair of ankle boots.

"Where are you going?" She asks. I don't answer, and look at her for a moment. She's always on my side, and for her to go against everything she'd believed in before, breaks my heart into pieces.

"Anywhere but here," I give her an answer, as I open the front door, and walk out of the house. Heading over to my car, I open the door with the key, and slide into the seat. Putting the key into the ignition, and buckling my seatbelt, I close my eyes for a few seconds, as my hands firmly grip the steering wheel.

I don't know where I'm going, but only two faces come to find, and one of them is a little boy named Blue.