Crossways (book 2) [Completed]

Ch. 17 Help is on the way

Tory's POV

Looking over at Carter, I couldn't help but feel this undeniable urge to bawl my eyes out. I wanted to cry so much from what we've been going through for the past week.

I reached over and gently caressed her cheek as she was sleeping. I couldn't help but let a tear roll down my cheek as my heart was literally breaking inside of my chest.

I hate this.

Feeling this way has messed with my head for so many years. I really thought I would get over my past and every heart break it has ever caused me, but how do I get over something when it's always in the back of my mind.

I tried keeping everything inside for the last few years whe  Carter and I have been together. I honestly couldn't allow myself to let her see how I am when it comes to trust.

Trusting has always been an issue with me from my past relationships. I never could trust anyone I was dating and it made me into someone I didn't like.

Getting cheated on and lied to is never easy and it never does get easy when thoughts consume you from what happened. I tried getting over it. I tried telling myself that it was all over and done with, but once those thoughts start coming back, it's hard to keep everything inside.

I trust Carter. I really do. I know she wouldn't abandon me like everyone else did, but my mind refuses to let my past go.

Realizing it now, I really do need help. I can't continue this and I know it's hurting Carter just as much as it's hurting me.

Slipping out of bed, I glance over at the clock on the table and saw that it was a little after five. I sigh as I rubbed my eyes then walked out of the room with Piper following me.

Walking downstairs, I went to the kitchen and made some coffee. I decided to go sit out on the balcony and let everything just fade away. I needed to take a breath and forget about everything.

After the coffee was made, I poured me a cup before walking back upstairs and onto the balcony. The cool air this morning felt amazing as I welcomed myself out and sat down in a chair.

Taking a sit of my coffee, I stared up at the sky. It wasn't quite light enough outside where the sky was turning to a light blue color. Instead, it was still a little black as the sun wasn't quite ready to come up yet.

I leaned back as I sipped more of my coffee, feeling my body react as I sighed in happiness. I looked around as I heard some cars on the road, probably going somewhere or going to work even though it was the weekend.

I started thinking about my life and my past. I didn't want to think about it, but it's always in the back of my mind and sometimes I can't help it.

My past relationships never worked out because I was either getting cheated on, lied to or manipulated. I don't really think it had anything to do from the way I was living at the time but I still wasn't living the best.

Hell, it took Carter to bring me out of the place I was living at.

Only a few of my past relationships really accepted me for who I was, but that didn't stop them from lying to me. I was so used to being lied to that anything that someone would tell me was an automatic response that they were lying.

Thinking about Carter, I trust her more than I trust anyone I've ever dated. I know she would never go behind my back but as I said before, it's hard when I'm constantly getting reminded of my past.

I've never had a real relationship with someone, who wasn't lying or cheating. Every single one of them did me wrong in some way and it really affected me in ways I can't begin to explain.