Love, Cancer & Me ✓ [Original]

Chapter Twenty

Dear Diary

November 10th, 2012

Today unlike most I woke up alone. Nathan went home yesterday because of Ethan's doctors appointment and I told him to spend some time with his family. Family was something I was lacking right now, my Mom seemed to be always working and Matt was in a coma like state, so in other words he was still asleep. I just laid there in bed waiting for myself to throw up because of the chemo and radiation last night. Although I never did, which I was thankful for.

I got up and grabbed my phone from my bureau. Then I dialled Nathan's number, he was probably asleep but I just wanted to talk to him even if that meant just leaving a message and it went straight to voice mail. "Hey it's me Darcy, I just wanted to take you up on that offer to come and watch your basketball game tonight. Call me back, love you."

I went into my closet and pulled out a warm sweater. I peeked into the guest room and when I didn't see Tristan I knew he was already up. I know lately he has had trouble sleeping, I also knows he blames himself for Matt not being here and it must keep him up at night. Just thinking about him keeps me up at night and Nathan seems to be the only one who can get my mind off Matt.

"Hey." I heard behind me and ran straight into Nathan's arms catching him unprepared. We both toppled over onto the floor and I straddled him. "Are you feeling ok?" He asked raising his eyebrows and his widened. I just smiled and pecked his lips.

"I missed you..." I murmured and then got covered in Tristan's backwash.

"I do not want to know how you guys got in that position." Nathan laughed and wiped Tristan's spit from my forehead. "I think I lost my appetite... I'm just going to go now." I sighed and rolled down onto the ground beside Nathan.

"That wasn't odd at all." Nathan stated sarcastically and helped me up off the floor. "Anyways..." I dragged him into my room and stood up onto my bed. Then I took the horse painting down, just leaving my bucket list. "Darcy..." Nathan sounded worried, just looking at all the stuff that I had written down.

"I know it's a lot and I know half of this stuff is too crazy to try, but I've been on a motorbike, I lost my virginity, and I'm pretty sure we've kissed in the rain." I jumped down and took both Nathan's hands in mine. "Right now I just need to get my mind off things and focusing on completing this will help me not think about Matt so much."

"Darcy, it just, I don't know... It makes me feel like you're going to leave me and I never want you to leave me." I put my arms around his back. "Please don't leave me." Nathan murmured. "I love you so much." I looked up as my hands trailed down to his belt and I hungrily pressed my lips to his.

"I love you too and Nate I promise I'll never leave you, no matter what." I knew even if I did die that I would always be in his heart so I wasn't lying and I knew that even if I did die that I would always love him. I brushed a piece of hair from his eyes and smiled at him. I placed my head in the nape of his neck and then Nathan lifted me up. I tightened my legs around his waist and got set down on the bed, and Nathan put the picture back up.

"If you want me to help you complete it, then Darcy I will... But right now I have to go to practice. I'll see you at my game ok?" He kissed my cheek and walked towards the door. "Love you." He told me as he left and I flopped back on my bed just smiling brightly. Then he rushed back in. "Wait, there's one more thing I have to do before I leave. Darcy go on a date with me, Friday night."

"Alright, ya, that sounds fun. Ok." I jumped in his arms hugging him tight. "Now go before you're late." I fell back down on my bed and held my pillow. I kept wondering about what he had planned and I walked outside and laid down under the clouds.