To Live Again {Lord of the Rings/ThranduilXOC Fanfiction}

16. A fateful Night

Time has lost all meaning to me now, it just flitters by and causes me no concern, life runs at a different pace and is no longer tied to the dictation of hours and minutes. Days slide into weeks and weeks into months and before I know it the seasons change, and I am once again surrounded by the warm, colourful, and golden embrace of mid-summer.

I have lived in this wonderful place more than a year, and in that time I have changed so profoundly I don't even remember who or what I was before. It is like I have always been an elf. It is like I have always dwelt in the depths of the woods listening to the spirits of the trees and communing with the natural world like it is as easy as breathing.

In my determination to become what Oropher wishes me to be, and what I know I can be, I work hard at honing my elven abilities. For the most part I look to Gilron for guidance, she teaches me how to be an elleth in all the practical and logical ways, but I was curious as to how I could push myself further. For that I turned to Thranduil, because he told me once of elven magic and I know he has a lot of it buried deep down within in him, he just likes to keep that side of himself quiet. He was reluctant at first to discuss any of this with me, encouraging me to seek out other elves skilled at magic instead of him, elves he felt had more control - like healers. I was persistent though and eventually he agreed to help me become more in-tune with my fae, how to learn how to separate body from spirit and rely on this sense instead of the physical to guide me. It was difficult but once I achieved it I experienced much deeper connections with my surroundings and with those closest to me.

I have experienced so many new and wonderful things that my creative spirit is just flowing, I painted so much that I ran out of things to paint on. So I took to making things grow, this turned into such a hobby that Calanon, the chief healer, approached me and asked me to oversee the healing gardens. A space that I, with the help of Thranduil, Oliel, and even Aradan, created to grow plants and herbs specifically for healing, but also a space that is conducive to recover. We learnt from Thranduil that a place full of subtle stimulus was just enough to help him regain and understand his senses again. So I brought a bit of his beloved wood into the caves, and between the two of us we created a sanctuary for those elves that were wounded either physically or spiritually, to come for rest.

King Oropher himself was so impressed by my endeavours that he blessed the gardens, and with a little persuasion from his son, put me in charge of all things pertaining to the wellbeing of his people. I cried that day because at last I felt I had proven to him that I was serious, that I was not some awkward youngster, with not a brain cell in her pretty head. I have worked hard and it has felt good, for I now have a purpose outside of the family unit, I am useful and helpful. Though Oropher is far from impressed with me personally, he accepts Thranduil will not be swayed on his decisions and that I don't appear to be disappearing any time soon. I get the distinct impression that I have not quite grasped what the King needs me to understand in order for him to be satisfied with me, but I really don't know what else to do? Thranduil tells me I have nothing more to prove, his unwavering love and strength of spirit keeps me settled, and I don't stress over it but I do worry over him.

Thranduil spends more and more time training, and I have lost count of the nights he has retuned bruised or limping or both. He won't explain himself and shrugs off any of my concerns, stating he is only rebuilding his strength because he will not be retiring as his father so forcefully wants him to do. He will not be told what to do nor will he let some old war wound slow him down. I swear if I didn't love him so much I would hate him and his ruthless determination.

I do love him though, frighteningly so; I hate being parted from him any longer than a few days. Though we have not really discussed our marriage and whether or not we want it to be an affair or just something between the two of us. Personally I don't feel comfortable with the idea just yet, I want Oropher's blessing, not just for me but for Thranduil and Legolas. For as much as he acts like his Father's judgment is of no concern to him, I know deep down it is and like me, I know he wants the acceptance for the sake of Legolas. A happy unified home is all we want, and so far Oropher has given me a wide berth. Though the King has notified the council that his son is pledged to another and it is all but common knowledge now that I am the secret love.