@Ash_Housewares wanted a chapter about Stanislas in his Season 4 phase. And I had something that I had not published yet: an excerpt from Stanislas' diary. So I decided to publish it. You'll see it's a bit more than a bonus chapter. It would be more accurate to say it's the start of a new story. I hope you'll enjoy it!
The depth of her gaze strips me of all the layers I didn't even know existed.
To be fair, I acknowledged I was fooling myself before meeting her. It was Hurricane Elise first. This woman bared my soul. There are no other words for it. I underestimated her in epic proportions. Not just her, though. I couldn't imagine anybody having this kind of impact on me. And probably very few actually could. But she did. I fucking sobbed while she hold me. You don't come back from that.
The thing is, I thought I didn't have a soul. So to speak. I had forgotten about it such a long time ago. And when she took me in her arms, my world crumbled. It plunged me into an abyss but I am grateful she did it.
Grateful she did it before I met Ibtissem.
I bumped into Benjamin on a bad night when the alcohol did nothing to quench the burning desire for blood and to fill the emptiness in my body and heart.
I fled at first from the pity in his glance. He had no idea who I was and tried to offer me some blood as if I were senile. And it took all of his gentle pleading to convince me to follow him. But Ibtissem, she recognized me instantly. I could see it in the look of defiance she gave me when Benjamin led me to their home. "Are you insane?" She told him. "This is Stanislas. Rings a bell? He's extremely dangerous, and you brought him home?"
I don't remember the details of this conversation because I was mostly out of it at the time, but I remember one of them called someone on the phone. I recall some sentences. Are you sure? He's not on human blood anymore? Something like that.
Ibtissem scrutinized me while Benjamin went to grab some blood for me. And there was a reticence in her, yes, but no hate, no anger. And there was a kindness between them. So powerful that I felt the possibility of being wrapped in it, even before it was directed at me.
And obviously, at first, it scared me. So before Benjamin was even back, I left. Wandering again in the streets, I ended up at Elise's club. Because where else was I supposed to go? Well, it led me to an endless night of withdrawal and painful realizations, when I witnessed firsthand what caring about others was and could do.
I saw Elise's family. There are no other words for it and the way she takes care of them, the way they all take care of each other. I saw the pain I caused Aidan and the support his friends provided. I went through every emotion possible in the course of one long night, and when I left The Pearl, I knew there was no going back to my old existence.
It's funny I met her on that precise night. Before, I was not ready for her in any way, but twenty-four hours later, I was on the road to be.
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