CountryCore Series: Fixer Upper (WLW)

Worries Abound...And Fade

Kenna ran her eyes over the land on which she stood, marveling at the large barn they eventually encountered that caused them to bulge. She traipsed a property off the beaten path that held so many wonders, she wasn't sure where to rest her gaze. She felt the hand in hers tighten its hold and glanced over at the woman who for some reason was still fighting for her, despite Kenna's less than stellar reputation coming to light. All she wanted to do was run as far as her legs would carry her, but to where?

She hadn't a place to go. True, Kenna could return to her parents, though it felt less like home the longer she spent in Texas. She could possibly just live off of the money she'd saved and travel around the country, far from suspecting eyes as no one would know a thing about her before she left for her next destination. However, she knew she'd find herself lonely and she'd made a promise to her brother. Although the resilience to follow through was quickly dwindling and she wasn't sure she should even be a part of her brother's wedding.

She was expected to be his best mate, though Kenna felt anything but that as she recalled all the faces in the crowd of the grocery store. They all knew. The entire town knew of her previous misfortunes and she was finally outed. She had lost.

Kenna sighed as she met Janet's eyes, then ducked her head as she spotted the hope littering her docile features. If she looked into her deep brown beauties with their long eyelashes for even one more second, she knew she'd come undone. She knew there was a tight bond rapidly forming between them. It swamped her whole and told her of a warmth like no other. A heat she had yet to experience that spoke to so many emotions careening around her, within her that told her to stay. It told her to cease her incessant running away, but there were two deterrents at the very least.

The first was that she couldn't give into those feelings. Not again. Not at the risk of also ostracizing Janet from the town and family she loved. The people here didn't hate her. They hated Kenna and the more time she spent with Janet the more likely she was to be thrust from the community as well. She couldn't allow that when Janet was so lovely here. So breathtaking. This was her home and she'd built her own business, taking in animals in need of homes and aiding the veterinarian endeavors of the town's many farm animals. This was where she belonged.

It wasn't where Kenna belonged, however, and that much she'd deduced all on her own. She didn't need to verify it with others. Not when the foreboding and agonizing truth practically slapped her in the face. If only she could rewind time and never carry around her grandfather's pocket knife like a security blanket, then perhaps things would have been vastly different. Maybe she could have this life, but that soul crushing final obstacle rang truest above all others and cut her to the bone.

The second and most important was that her being here could affect her brother, his business and the life for which she knew he yearned for literal decades. Kenna couldn't take that joyous opportunity from him, the chance of community, family and thriving happiness, so she'd confined herself to being situated between a rock and a hard place. A place she was sure she'd be secured for many days to come.

All in all, her best option was to keep her head down and do her job on Janet's farm. Once it was finished, she would most likely choose her previous aspirations and go travel. It wouldn't be the end of the world. Although it would be lonely to journey the expanse of the US all alone, she wouldn't be causing any further issues for Janet and Neil. At least they would have peace and with time, maybe during her travels Kenna would find it as well. If she did and her friends and family were happy, perhaps it would have all been worth it in the end.

Kenna felt her shoulders slump at the idea of being parted from her family, then one image stood out in her mind and she halted in front of the giant barn wherein she heard snorts and flowing water. Janet's sorrowful expression when she stood in the terminal in Killeen Airport flashed across her mind and she slammed her eyes shut, watching the tears that plummeted down her cheeks as she walked away. She'd left her crying and in such anguish that she followed her all the way to Providence. Who was to say Janet wouldn't do the exact same thing again, putting her entire life on hold in the process?