Four Years: The first year

17| George

It was Saturday, there was no college today. Ryan was out, so I was alone at the house. Ray was at the museum. He's a workaholic. Kiara and Rach went out shopping. I just finished working so I had nothing to do right now.

I could hang with Aly, but it's not my most viable option. I lose my head around her. My mind and body go numb whenever she's close to me. It feels like my heart and pulse are in a race with one another, yet somehow both come last. Every time she touches me, it leaves a lingering ache on my skin which seems to set me ablaze. I convinced myself that the way my knees grew weak was because of some kind of nerve damage. While it may sound ridiculous, the other notion struck me as even more ghastly. I cannot afford such feelings right now. Hell, I don't even deserve such feelings. So instead I'd visit the gym to burn it out.

I pushed the button for the elevator.

Ding.

As the door opened, Aly stood right before me. Yup, that's my luck. I got in, hoping she'd get out. She didn't. To ease the tension, I whistled, immediately cursing myself for my choice of action. She looked at me with concern, like I was a crazy person, and I stopped.

Suddenly, the elevator started rocking. All the lights flickered and finally went out. The elevator stopped.

It wasn't not working.

Great! Another hour trapped in here with her. I hit the emergency button to open the door but it didn't work either. I was lost in thoughts but Aly broke the trail.

She wasn't calm. At all. She was frantic. Her breathing was heavy and then she clutched her chest tightly.

Oh god, she was having a panic attack.

I tried to reach her as a shard of fear hit me but she evaded me. Her movements were rapid and unpredictable. She stumbled backward and hit the back wall of the elevator. She frantically covered her face with her arms, her hair disheveled all over her face. I gently held her shoulders, "Come on, love, breathe. It's okay. You'll be alright." But instead, she sank to the floor, grabbing her hair tightly.

She was distraught and didn't listen to a word I said. I crouched on the floor in front of her and took her face in my hands, "Look at me, love. I'm here. Shhh, I'm right here," I whispered, peering into her eyes, "I'm not leaving. Okay? Nothing will happen to you. You're safe. This will not last for long." 

She seemed to calm down a little. Her eyes relaxed, her breathing rate returned to normal so I let go of her face. But she fainted the second I let go of her. And her head fell right into my lap. I tapped her cheeks gently but nothing, she just lay there unconscious.

It'd been about 15 minutes now. She still hasn't woken. I gazed at the soft features of her face lying so still on my lap. I touched her cheek gently, caressing it with my thumb, and ran a hand through her hair, resting so gracefully on her face. I took her cold hands in mine and held them until they were warm. She looked so peaceful and I fought every urge in my body to embrace her in my arms. I sighed wearily and rested the back of my head against the wall and shut my eyes.

Finally, finally, the door opened. Half of the door was in front of a wall and the paramedics reached out from the other half. I handed Aly carefully to them before I got out. They examined her and said that a panic attack was not that serious and I just needed to take her home, hydrate her, and get some food in her.

So, I wrapped my arms around her back and behind her knees and carried her. Her nose nuzzled into my neck and my breath wound up in my throat. I accidentally took a whiff of her hair, taking in the lavender scent.
Bad idea.
My entire body went bonkers. I somehow managed to bring her upstairs despite the pathetic effect she had on me.

Her apartment was locked and I wasn't going to palpate her for keys. So, instead, I took her to my apartment. I put her down on my bed, gazing at her sleeping figure for a while before realizing I was being creepy so I went away.

I stepped out in the kitchen to cook. But I had no idea what to do, I'm an amateur at cooking. I make a mean coffee though. I noticed Poha sitting on a shelf so I decided to make that. I looked up a tutorial and followed it through. After I was done I went out to get her meds.

By the time I was back, I heard music coming out of my apartment. There was a crack left open in the door so I peeked through it.

Aly had both front paws of Daisy in her hands and was dancing with her, singing at the top of her lungs.

I leaned against the door frame and took in the amazing picture before me. I couldn't help but smile at her adorable childlike innocence.

She saw me watching her and her cheeks turned to the most brilliant shade of pink. I looked down smiling to myself before I cleared my throat and walked in.

I gave her the meds and sat down on the couch with Daisy, "Rise and shine, love."

She sat on the chair in front of the kitchen counter.

"There's some Poha in that container. The paramedics said you need to eat something." I pointed to the plastic box on the counter. She served it on her plate. She took a spoonful. I watched intently as she bit her tongue, scrunching up her face. She noticed me watching and replaced the bitter look with a forced forgery of a smile. She raised two thumbs up and mumbled with a mouthful, "Iths veby favourful."

I cocked up a brow, "That bad, huh?"

"I'm sorry, it's unedible," she bit her lip and scrunched up her face. I melted into a puddle of water right there.

I laughed, "Just leave it. I can cut up some fruits."
To distract her from noticing the blip on my face I asked, "Do you get panic attacks often?"

"Well, not anymore. I hadn't had an episode in a long while."

"Is it because of claustrophobia?"

"No, I was told that when I was younger someone accidentally left me in the elevator and it stopped working and I had my first panic attack then. I didn't go in the elevator for many years after that because I'd still get panic attacks just by being there." She took another bite. "But it all stopped long back but I guess I still freak out if the elevator stops working." She shrugged.

She said all that in such a cool tone like it wasn't a big deal at all. Like it was normal. I couldn't imagine leaving a kid in an elevator alone. It was irresponsible, to say the least. I was worried sick today watching her panic even though she was a grown woman, the most capable woman I know.

"Hey, thanks for talking to me in the elevator, though. It really helped," she said as she finished the plate.

"What are you talking about?" I swallowed as I lied. I looked away so I didn't have to face her while lying.

"You know, helping me get through the panic attack."

"I didn't do anything, love. You're probably concussed. You just started freaking out and then passed out. The paramedics carried you to my apartment."

She looked at me like she was trying to figure something out then looked away. "Okay, I'm gonna go now. Thanks for all your help today."

I pressed my lips together and nodded slightly as  I watched her leave. She turned back once but shook her head and entered her apartment.