Hot as Hall

Chapter Thirty Three

Zoe

There are only a few moments that the beach below my house isn't jam-packed with tourists, and today, I woke up early enough to really enjoy them.

Mornings are my favorite time of day, especially mornings that I get to soak in the peace and the calm on my back deck, watching the waves roll in as I sip my coffee. Between the promise of a new day and the beautiful coastal scenery, it's about as close to perfection as you can get.

Morning light hits differently, and it's almost like the ocean is glowing. Enormous, white-capped waves chase up the shore, thunderous and intimidating as they crash against each other. Aside from the tiny prints of chirping seagulls, the sand is almost completely untouched, smooth and pristine before the crowds arrive. A sharp sea breeze is in the air, but it doesn't stop a few surfers from braving the cool temperatures and unforgiving current to catch the early morning waves. The salt is so strong you can smell it in the air, and it fills my lungs as I snuggle down farther underneath my blanket. It'll be warm today, but right now, it's chillier than usual for this time of year.

It's the tail end of blue whale season, and I squint, scanning the clear horizon for any sign. I've never actually seen one from here, but it doesn't stop me from trying. There is nothing quite like seeing wild animals in their natural habitat, and this deck gives me plenty of opportunity. Dolphins and seals and even smaller whale varieties come close to the shore, but I'm always after the elusive blue whale. At one point, I thought I would be a marine biologist and work with the sea life, but lions won out and living this close to the ocean is a close second.

At some point, I should get in the shower and start my day, but I'm way too content right now. If I'm not careful, I'll sit out here all day. It's easy to get swept away in the sights, but a knock at my door draws me back.

That's strange. I'm not expecting anyone, and it seems a little early for surprise visitors, but I make my way to the door. As soon as I come around the kitchen corner, I can see James through the window, and it almost makes me stop dead in my tracks.

Last night was painful. The hurt in James' eyes was all too familiar, and it broke my heart to hear him talk about his parents getting back together. I remember so vividly having the same thoughts when I was a kid, and the resentment I had toward anyone I thought was standing in the way of that. I couldn't even be upset about the window because I understood it. It made perfect sense to me and watching it all play out was almost surreal.

With Tanner on shift, we haven't even had time to talk about how it all ended up. And now, James is here on my doorstep. After seeing how angry James was last night, I'm a little Leary, but I go to the door, anyway.

As I open the door, he turns around, sheepishly shoving his hands in his pockets. "Hi Zoe. Can you talk for a few minutes?"

"Sure, is everything okay?" I ask, ushering him inside. There is no one else here, so I'm sure he walked, and it's not all that warm out.

He nods, following me into the kitchen and sitting down at one of the barstools at the island.

"Do you want something to drink? Water? Orange juice?" Words are failing me a bit, so I jump into hostess mode, setting a couple of water bottles on the counter in case he changes his mind. I don't know why exactly he's here, so I tried lightly.

"I'm okay." He says. "I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I'm sorry I broke your window and I'm sorry for being a jerk last night. I was mad at my parents and I blamed you, and you don't deserve that."

The words spill out of his mouth as he locks eyes with me. He doesn't glance away or grumble through the apology, and instead, I'm blown away by how mature and genuine he is. He really is a sweet kid, and Tanner's done a great job with him.

"Did you know that my parents are divorced, too?" I say, leaning against the counter.

He shakes his head. "They are?"

"Yep." I nod. "They got divorced when I was about eight."

"I was nine."

"I remember for a while it all felt kind of normal, you know?" I sigh. "My sisters and I stayed with my mom, and my dad was traveling for work a lot, which wasn't all that unusual. They were still both around for holidays and birthdays and school events. It was kind of like we were still a family, just living in different places, and it wasn't really until my dad got a girlfriend that it started to feel really different."

James is quiet, stiffening as he listens intently to what I say.

"It was like until that moment, I could still pretend it wasn't happening or it wasn't real... but then she came along and it all changed. Except I was really the only one who it changed for. My parents had been divorced for almost two years and knew they would never get back together. I just hadn't really let myself accept it yet."

"I guess that's kind of how I felt, too." James bites his lip, holding back tears as he glances at the floor.

"I know." I nod. "And I want you to know that I understand. I know that it sucks and that it feels weird and different and kind of like your whole world is getting turned upside down again. And I know you're upset. I was upset, too. For a really, really long time."

"What changed?" He asked, eyes meeting mine again.

"It took some time to get used to, but I realized that my parents don't have to be together to love me. My family didn't look exactly how I thought it was supposed to, but that didn't mean my relationship with my parents changed. And as I got older, I realized that my parents were both much happier and healthier when they were apart. They weren't good for each other, and they deserve to be happy, too."

James nods, thinking for a second. With his brow furrowed, he looks like a mini Tanner sitting at my counter.

"It doesn't make it any easier right now, I know, and it's okay to be upset and angry about it. But I think your dad is doing the best he can to give you and Lucas everything you could ever want. You have two parents in your life who love you more than they could ever explain, and that's really lucky. Some kids don't even have that, and so even though it's not perfect, or it's not like you imagined, you still have a really great family who loves you."

"Yeah, you're right."

"I know it can be hard when your dad starts dating someone new, so let's just take it slow, and we can get to know each other a little, too? Maybe you can come spend some time at the zoo and I can show you around. What do you think?"

He brightens up a bit. "Can I really? That would be awesome!"

"Of course you can. I'll talk to your dad about it later and we'll get it all set up." I smile. "I'm never going to get in the way of your family, James, and I want you to trust that."

"I'm sorry I took it out on you." He says.

"You don't have to be sorry. Like I said, I know exactly how you're feeling. And if you ever want to talk to someone, and you don't feel like you can talk to your mom or dad, you're always welcome here. You and I are in the same club and sometimes it's nice to have someone who has gone through it, too."

"Thanks Zoe." To my surprise, James gives me a great big hug, squeezing tight before pulling away. He reaches into his pocket and hands me an envelope. "Here. This is for the window. And I'm going to mow your lawn for free for the rest of the year."

"James..." I hold up my hand. "You really don't need to do that."

"Please." He shoves the envelope across the counter to me. "Just take it."

"I'll take this for the window, but we'll talk about the free lawn mowing thing. I think you already feel bad enough."

James and I say our goodbyes and I watch as he rounds the corner back to his house. The conversation went better than I ever could have imagined, and I can't wait to tell Tanner about it.

Pulling out my phone, I shoot him a quick text.

Still okay if I come by?

Almost immediately, he replies.

Counting on it. Can't wait to see you.