When flowers shed tears (Presence #1)

Chapter three: The friend that never existed

T H R E E 

***

He was so beautiful. The more I stared at his profile the more I realized why people make art. Moments in the present–like this– should last for eons. I felt the warmth from his hand as he led our way through the moonlit grass. My breath swirled in the air in puffs of white. The sun and the moon were both out at the same time. The sky spread like sorbet. Melting its colors all into each other.

"Almost there." His voice is soft and rich, and when he throws his head back and smiles at me... I still. His eyes light under a bed of thick lashes. A strong, masculine face stared into mine—sharp jaw-line, sculpted cheekbones, and a Roman nose. Dark stubble shadowed his cheeks, and his hair was dark —darker than the sky at this point.

I follow behind him. We walk across railroad tracks and debris toward a body of water in the midst of the forest. It's just him and I. This stranger means a lot to me I can feel it. The ducks sit on the water not disturbed by our presence. "It's so beautiful." I say in a whisper. I couldn't believe the peace that I saw. No horror and all harmony.

Our eyes hold for the longest of seconds. Then, gently, I feel the brush of his thumbs on my cheeks.

A tremor runs through me as he ducks his head. And then, He places one single kiss on the corner of my lips. When he leans back up, his eyes smile before he does. He smells like a layered combination of cologne, cigarettes, leather, and mint which was surprisingly dangerously addicting. "You're so beautiful." he whispers.

The way my body feels overworked—my heart leaping, every part of me overreacting to his smile, his glance, his smell. He's breathing fast, clearly fighting for control. And I want him to lose.

"You call that a kiss?"

His smile turns rueful, and he leans forward.

 Blood dripping. Drip. Drip. Drip. Collecting in a puddle on the cold stiff grass. The silver glimmers as the blade doesn't stop. It was more than a drip. Red hot pools in my stomach as he jabs the blade again and again and again. I feel stuck in an endless loop. No one will hear me scream. I try to fight back but I know I'm going to die.  Soon, I don't feel anything anymore. No shock, no pain, no discomfort whatsoever. I slip away, losing the strength to scratch him again and he catches me- cradling me with  crimson fingers. He gently caresses my face before planting a gentle kiss on my lips. The taste of blood on my tongue as I fade into nothing. 

His dark energy matching the darkness beneath my eyes. "Forgive me."

I woke up in a sweat and glance at my clock. The time read 9:14 am. I stared at the ceiling in an attempt to process my dream. What the fuck?

Sleeping has always been a struggle for me. Every time I close my eyes at night, I'm plagued by paralysis, voices, and beings. Nightmares haunt me, filled with flashes of people I've never met meeting their untimely end. Car crashes, drownings, fires, accidents, and even purposeful deaths. Running and screaming, cliffs and jumping. Dreams have never been a pleasant experience for me. 

"Jude." My younger brother whispered from his cereal bowl before I even stepped through the kitchen entryway. My insides twisted themselves in knots as I went to grab a hot chocolate mix from one of the many boxes flooding our apartment. The dream was still heavy on my mind.

I tried my best to smile, but all I could muster was a soft greeting of the eye. My baby brother, Jay, was always so sweet to me, even as a little boy he climbed into my bed on nights that were particularly dark. There were no rivalries between us like our neighbors have with their siblings. I've manipulated everyone in my life to believe I was an asshole, except for him.