When Nadia Marsh; a cheerful and popular ice skater, is overtaken by a mystery illness, everything changes.
When everyone around her is training for sectionals; Nadia is house bound, where even the smallest effort leaves her feeling exhausted.
Getti...
"In doctor's office lighting, I didn't tell you I was scared."
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
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NADIA'S POV:
It's been a few days since that god awful party. I went out to have some semblance of fun but that didn't turn out very well when I saw my boyfriend dance with my best friend. But, at least they had fun.
On top of that, Corey decided to throw a fit about nothing, I was fine and could've handled everything myself.
No matter how many times you tell yourself that, Nadia, it's not going to stick, my subconscious tells me. Well, my subconscious can do one, I'm sick and tired of having to rely on other people constantly. I don't want to be like this anymore. I can't take much more of this.
I've been in agony ever since I entered the house party and I have been unable to move ever since I got back in my bed. I have hardly been able to eat or drink anything, only having sips of water here and there and only eating some tomato soup when I have been hungry, which is very rare now. My throat is so tight it feels as though I am unable to breathe sometimes, and every time this happens I end up having an anxiety attack which seems to make everything worse.
My limbs are tight, my legs are numb from me walking, I didn't even walk a lot but my body seems to become exhausted over nothing.
I'm concerned about me, why aren't the doctors?
I've been an athlete for most of my life, I shouldn't be feeling this way at all. People who aren't athletes should be feeling like this either. It's not fair and I feel so alone.
I fucking hate my life right now. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. When I was growing up I was surrounded by people saying that they love being sick for a few days because it gives them some attention. I hate it. I hate not being able to do even the simplest tasks by myself and having to have another person's help to do it. I have always been so independent and this is such a drastic change for me and it's difficult to deal with.
I know that my family loves me and would do anything to support me during this difficult time but it just sucks that they have to do it. No one should have to live the way I'm currently living, and no one should have to look after me all day everyday when they have better things to do. Real things to do.
I just want to be normal again. I want to know what is wrong with me so I can fucking get better.
Due to my throat feeling worse, even after being on several courses of antibiotics my mum booked me another doctor's appointment which referred me straight to the ear nose and throat clinic at the hospital so I have my appointment there today. I have hope that they will actually listen to my concerns this time, but I know in the back of my mind that they will probably only send me away with another course of antibiotics. You would think that as the NHS never has money they would stop giving me drugs that are obviously not working and just solve the issue by taking my tonsils out, but no they like wasting their money and seeing me in pain apparently.
