"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said.
Jake...
Music plays loudly as Jake stands up, wearing a gray suit. "Excuse me! Excuse me. Hi. I'm Jake Peralta."
Everyone cheered loudly.
"All right, all right. So thrilled to be here today. As many of you may know, I used to be a cop."
The crowd booed.
"Hey, I was dirty! I took tons of bribes. But as a former detective, uh, I know a thing or two about life sentences. And, Angie, Marco, you just got slapped with the best life sentence there is: Marriage. To Angie and Marco. Make us proud, have a son. Salud!" said Jake, raising his glass.
"Salud!" everyone said.
Jake took a picture with the bride, and then went over to the bar to talk to some people and get a drink.
"Hey, I love the spray tan, Joey. Let me take a picture of you, I want to show this color to the guy who stains my deck!" Jake said.
Joey and Jake both laughed loudly.
Later, Jake was talking to four old men in suits.
"Congratulations, Tony. It's a beautiful night" said Jake, handing Tony an envelope and offering to shake his hand.
"Hey, you're one of us now" said Tony, kissing Jake.
Jake laughed. "You know how long I've been waiting for one of you old men to kiss me?"
"He's a good kid" Tony said, and the other three men all kissed Jake.
"I gotta say, out of the four of you, I think Vito's the best kisser said Jake. "Ah, what a wedding, huh? Although the meatball's were a little dry."
Outside the building, you, Holt and Terry were listening in on the conversation.
"Dry meatballs. That's Peralta's signal. Let's go" said Holt, looking at you and Terry who ran out of the door.
You and Terry ran into the building, guns at the ready.
"Stay where you are! Hands on your head!" you shouted.
Terry grabbed Jake and carried him out the building followed by you.
"Whoa, whoa, hey! Aghh! Nobody say anything!" shouted Jake.
You, Terry and Jake walked to where Holt was waiting, Jake struggling.
"Hey, Captain Holt! Long time, no see. How you doing?" Jake asked.
"This is not the time, Peralta" said Holt.
"Oh, yeah, that's the stuff" Jake said, hugging you and Holt. "I've missed us."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"He's here! He's here! Jake's here!" said Charles excitedly as he ran into the bullpen. "Okay, let's do the prank where we don't even acknowledge him when he comes in. Okay? Shh, shh. Everyone, shh."
Jake walked in. "Back in the Nine-Nine!"
"Whoo! Hoo-hoo-hoo! Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake!" Charles said, turning around to face Jake enthusiastically.
"Played to perfection, Charles" said Gina.
"God, I missed this place. Let me just, soak it in. Oh, yeah, stale coffee, fingerprinting ink, whatever Charles is fermenting in his desk" said Jake.
"Beans" Charles said.
"Beans. It's like I never left. All right, fill me in. Tell me everything I missed" said Jake.
"Won't take long. Only three things happened" you said.
"Terry chipped his tooth and had a lisp for a week. Number two, Santiago and Boyle wore the same outfit to work one day. And the Captain banned headphones from the office due to the Gina incident" Rosa said.
"Great recap" said Jake.
"Welcome back, Peralta" said Holt, walking in and shaking Jake's hand. "Everyone has a lot of work. So you have exactly two minutes to share personal anecdotes. And those two minutes began when you entered. You now have... twelve seconds left."
"Challenge accepted. Undercover highlights. Fixed a boxing match, smoked a whole cigar without vomiting, and was once in a room with ten guys named Sal and missed you all so very much. Everyone back to work!" Jake said.
Everyone went back to their desks, and Jake followed you to your desk.
"Hey. So... Didn't get a chance to say hi" said Jake.
"Hi" you said.
"Hi. Can we talk in private for a sec?" he asked.
Five minutes later, you and Jake were in the evidence lock-up.
"Okay. So now that we are alone, I have to ask. Did you arrest a perp named Joe Uterus?" asked Jake.
You sighed. "Oh, my God, yes. I should have told you immediately. Perp name hall of fame, right?"
"Oh, yeah. First ballot. I mean, it's right up there with Sylvester Stools and Janet Storkmuncher" said Jake, and you both laughed. "But also, I just - I know we left things kind of weird. You know, me saying that I liked you."
"I'm still with Elliot. Romantic styles" you said.
"Oh. Good, good. 'Cause I was gonna say, that we left things kind of weird, 'cause I told you I liked you, but that was a mistake. You know, I was nervous about going undercover and I think I just kinda freaked out, and you were nearby, so... I didn't mean it. But, that's great" said Jake.
"Good" you said.
"Hey, so, Joe Uterus, what did he do?" Jake asked.
"Killed a bunch of stray dogs" you answered.
"Eh. Name's funnier than the story" said Jake, and you nodded in agreement.
---------------
"Boyle, y/n, we're going undercover" said Jake as he put on his mafia clothes.
"You look amazing" said Charles.
"But you smell really bad" you said.
"That's my cologne. Welcome to the mafia" Jake said.
