HELL NO!!! I'm Never Gonna Get Married To You!

Chapter 31

--- 31 ---

PAUL:

Picture, you're the queen of everything
Far as the eye can see under your command
I will be your guardian when all is crumbling
I'll steady your hand

In the far end of my mind I’m holding her so close to me to never let her go. I’m tried to feel her close to me but failing every time. She is all there, all for me now but not there at all, not for me ever.

Don't let me go
Don't let me go

I ripped the ear plugs out of my ears, throwing the iPod away. It smashed on the wall with a tiny crush and slipped under the couch. I took my face in my hands, gritting away the anger, my pain was causing me. I can’t let her go… I don’t want to but I have nothing to hold on to!

It was happening all over again… like it happened with Karen. My lost life. My gone love. But now I think I wasn’t in love with her anymore… Andy was all I ever thought about now. It was driving me crazy. I slept and woke up with her on my mind ever single day. I didn’t think about how to get her because I practically had her ever since Austin backed out from the marriage but what was so nerving about the whole thing were Andy’s emotionless attitude.

It was like somebody had pulled out emotions out of her. She was always there but just wasn’t there. She smiled; she laughed silently but never cried. I never saw her spilling a single tear after what ever Austin said. All she ever did was to ignore Austin like he wasn’t there. They both ignored each other like they never existed.

The hardest parts of all were the dreadful dinners. Each was tensed than before but nothing changed anything in between them both. Days turned into weeks and weeks were about to cross a month. Each day I thought about talking to Andy about ‘Us’ but every time I stopped right in front of her room thinking about it all over again. I was scared that it’ll create distances between us.

Maybe she wasn’t ready… maybe she didn’t want me. But I gave her all the time she needed! How can she not like me when I was always there for her? When I was only one she had since Austin never even looked up at her for once? How can she not think about me that way?!

Austin’s words rang in my mind every single day and sometimes I felt like they were playing tricks on me! If anyone would tell me I was going insane… I would accept it. And if someone told me Austin was out of his freaking mind… I’ll second that, but it was true that he’d left Andy like she meant nothing to him.

I tried to be angry over him and tried to talk him out of his craziness but something stopped me. And that was my evolving love for Andy. I swore I wouldn’t fall for her but I did and now there was almost nothing in between. Just me and her…

‘…Besides if you care so much for her, you can take her…’

“Maybe I will…” I mumbled to myself, inhaling a lot of air for my gut to man up. The air smelt like it was softly scented. I closed my eyes, inhaling the scent again, filling my lungs with freshness, filling me with the feel of being close to Andy.

It was her scent. I opened my eyes, raising my face from my hands and found myself looking into the pair of most beautiful light brown eyes. If it was on me I could stare in to her eyes for all day long. It made me forget everything.

“You okay?” she asked softly, resting her hand on my shoulder. She sat so close to me that I could just pull her a little closer and kiss her. I nodded, shrugging off the thought. “Are you sure? ‘Cause you look—”

“I’m fine.” I smiled to her and her confused brows relaxed. She smiled, resting her head on my shoulder. I should’ve been use to it by now but every time she did it, I felt my heart flipping.