Way of the Wolf: Redemption

Chapter 30 ~ Tears

Chapter 30: Tears
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Fingers were stroking through my hair, rousing me from the dark. My eyes were dry and scratchy, my throat raw. In fact, there didn't seem to be a single part of me that didn't hurt. An ache had settled deep into my bones and the place between my legs throbbed with the beat of my heart. A groan slipped past my lips and the male I was curled up against hushed me gently.

"You're awake." There was such relief in his voice and as I breathed in, I could catch the saltiness of tears. My Beta had been crying.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat, my gaze catching the woven bassinet that sat empty not far from the furs we lay on. Blankets were folded neatly beside it, all ready to wrap up a pup that hadn't even taken a breath.

Pushing up on my elbows, grief shredded my heart in my chest. Bjarke tried to push me to lie down again but a snarl and he flinched back. There was a crease between his brows as he studied me as he did way back when I'd first been his prisoner; like I was a wild animal, unpredictable.

"You need to rest, my mate-"

"Leave me alone," I snapped, shifting onto my side so my back was to him. Of course he was right. I was drained, exhausted and sleep beckoned me but I feared what dreams might haunt my sleep.

I felt Bjarke get up and walk away but the splash of water from the corner of the room told me he was simply getting a drink. He carried the mug over to me, sitting crossed leg and holding it out in offering. I turned my nose up at it. I didn't want to drink, or eat. What was the point?

"You have to drink. You've been sleeping for days and you need to build up your strength," he insisted.

When I still didn't move, he took matters into his own hands and hoisted me up. I didn't have the strength to fight him and was forced to swallow enough water to satisfy him. He wiped away what I'd spilt down my chin then allowed me to crawl back beneath the furs.

I tugged them up to my chin, breathing in the mingled scents of Bjarke and I, even though it brought me little comfort. There was another scent in the room too. A stranger had been in here and I wanted to scream at my mate for allowing another in here. But he didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve my wrath when he'd done everything in his power to keep my pup and I safe. It was my fault that all he'd built for us crumbled to dust.

My eyes went back to the bassinet and immediately my vision blurred with tears. Fisting my hands so my nails pinched into my palms, it felt like something was slowly tearing bits of my heart away. I hadn't even gotten to see him. Or hold him. Did he have hair? What colour was it? Did he have green eyes, or blue like Jakkon, a steely grey like the male I couldn't think about right now?

"Did you name him before you buried him?" I croaked, curling around my belly that was no longer swollen with a pup.

Bjarke inhaled sharply and I felt the bond tug painfully between us. I closed my eyes against the tears that threatened to fall, my arms feeling oddly empty even though I'd never gotten the chance to hold my son. Stumbled words fell from my mate's lips and I wondered if he'd grieved as I had that first day. Was that why he'd been crying?

When there was still no answer from him, I frowned. Something was wrong and I forced myself to peer up at brown eyes that were swirling with an unnameable emotion.