Bullied to a Werwolf's Mate?

Chapter 9

I bring up my legs to my chest and put my arms around them so that I am hugging myself. I don't try to look anywhere except at my toes. My heart beats faster as Ryder drives us away in his car to some place. I wish I just stayed out of his way. If it wasn't for me then he wouldn't be worrying about all the stupid shit that everyone gets into because of me. He growls next to me and I scoot closer to the door in hopes for me not getting into his angered state.

Suddenly he takes off my seat belt and lifts me up so that I am straddling his lap facing toward him. I try to move back to the original seating arrangements, but his grips tightens on my waist. 

He whispers in my ear "You know with you moving around like that it is difficult for me to drive around in my car." I immediately still at what he says. My eyes wander to the side window and realize that the car is still moving. I put head in his shoulder and wrapped my legs around his waist. This is probably the safest thing to do so that I don't hurt him or put anyone else in danger of distracting him.

Why did he even put me in his lap? I don't understand why he even wants me, a disgusting ugly creature, I don't even deserve the title as a person, like me? I deserve to suffer and be alone. I am to much of a burden for anyone to truly care about me. My eyes water as the force of my words really hit me. They always hit me hard every time I realize that I am alone in this world. There is absolutely no one who cares about. I feel like they are about to fall, but I breath deeply and control my tears. Finally, I felt my tears subside and fell asleep.

When I woke up in the same position as before, but we were in a different scenery. I felt a cool wind against my shoulders and goosebumps arose across them. There was some shuffling then there was a warm jacket being put around my shoulders. I got up slowly and looked Ryder in the eyes. I tied to get off of his lap, but he wouldn't let me. His grip tightens around my waist and brings me closer to him. Why is he so nice?

I ask him "Why are you giving me your jacket? You are the one that needs the coat. I will be fine. I promise." As I talked I start to take off the jacket. I couldn't deal with him giving up his warmth for an ugly creature like me. He can't keep doing sweet things like this. I don't deserve to be happy. I deserve to suffer for others and let them be happy. My life isn't glamorous and most likely never will be. I should be rotting out on the streets like a rat instead of being with a sweet guy who seems to care for me. I don't deserve to be cared for.

Before I could get the jacket half-way off Ryder stopped me and put the jacket back on while zipping it up until it couldn't go anymore. He says "I'm giving you my jacket because you're cold and I'm not. Trust me when I say you need the jacket more than I do. Why do you always turn away from nice gestures. Don't girls dream of kind guys to sweep them off their feet?" For some reason this comment angered me.

"You know I am not like all the other girls. I don't have a nice home to live in, instead I live out on the streets barely eating anything and I am fine with that. I don't have anyone who cares for me in the world so I shy away from nice people. I am afraid that if I let someone in they will break me down and tear me apart until I am nothing. I know I am already nothing, but empty space and I embarrass that realization. I can't deal with  someone who could become close to me rip me apart. My life has been crap ever since my birth and no one else ever had to go through what I do every single day of my life. So, yeah, I am not like other girls. The only thing that has me confused is why are you doing nice things for me? What makes me so important to you? I am not special, but why do you think I am?"

He looks at me bewildered at my mini outburst. After he recovers he sighs and say "I guess I better start explaining some things huh?"

I look at him wondering what in the world he has to say that will help me realize this complicated situation we are in right now.