Breathe Again

Chapter 34

Sterling let his eyes roam over Dottie from head to toe, helpless against the onslaught of scenes from their harrowing night replaying in his mind.

"You have a very serious frown upon your face...what are you thinking?" Dottie asked quietly.

He paced away from her to the partition, then turned back before admitting, "It's my fault."

Dottie frowned, "What are you talking about?"

He ground his teeth and clenched his hands into fists, but remained silent.

"I don't believe this..." she rolled her eye, "Are you telling me you've suddenly developed the ability to hurl lightning bolts?"

Sterling took a calming breath. She was being obtuse on purpose. "If I hadn't-"

"If you hadn't ridden by tonight, without stopping to apologize for not making it to dinner—is that what you were about to say?" Dottie interrupted.
She was grateful Ashfield had given her the medicine earlier; otherwise, she wouldn't be able to say what Sterling needed to hear.

Vomiting and bouts of intense dry heaving were not conducive to attempting to speak reason to a stubborn Sterling Hawkins. It was moments like these, where that peculiar light came to his eye when she wished she had something to hit him over to the head with.

That wasn't what he had been about to say, and she knew it. He crossed his arms over his chest and clamped his mouth shut. Why did she have to make this so difficult? Was he so transparent she was able to read his intentions from clear over there?

He couldn't do anything right where she was concerned. She'd almost died tonight because of him. The whole fiasco was proof that she was better off without him messing up her life. If he could save her in any other way besides leaving, he would do it in a heartbeat. But, there was no other option.

"Discussing with yourself again?" Dottie murmured, watching him closely, "I do hope you're only reflecting upon the many different shades of blue for the scarf you're planning on knitting me."

She'd seen that particular look on his face twice before; the only difference now was that she knew what it would lead to if she didn't put a stop to his line of thinking as quickly as possible.

Sterling glowered at her and planted his hands on his hips, not amused at her attempt at levity. "You were nearly killed tonight!"

Dottie gasped, feigning surprise, "But you said, and I quote-" she lowered her voice to impersonate his deep voice, "we were perfectly safe the entire time."

Sterling tried not to smile and lost. "I lied." He forced the smile from his face and scowled at her. Straightening to his full height, he growled, "And I do not sound like that. I sound much more-" he deepened his voice, "manly."

She moved to a more comfortable position, silently pleased she was able to bring a smile to his face, no matter how brief it had been there. "It wasn't your fault." She held up a hand to silence him when he opened his mouth to speak.

Only after Sterling clamped his mouth shut did she continue, "You don't get to take responsibility for forces of nature—you're not some mythical god." Her eyes traveled up and down his mud-crusted form, "Even if you do have the body of one."

Some of his bluster left at her words. Did she really think that of him, even after seeing the damage and scars adorning his body?

Sterling smirked and walked closer to her, temporarily distracted, "Have you been sneaking a peek at me again when I'm bathing?" He leaned down and whispered, "I would have thought after getting caught and lectured by your father the last time that you would have stopped that wicked habit."