One Week Older: Turning Pages

Clouds in the Sky

As the examination started, I thought back to the first time this torturous occurrence happened. It was my twelfth birthday party and my dad was late. I couldn't help but worry about him. I think he had a business meeting, but he promised me he would be there, and I was so worried when he did not show up hours after the entirety of the guest had departed. I knew something was wrong but what, was the question.

Fearing the worst was what caused my first panic attack and the second, ironic is not it. I was sitting in my mother's lap as I focused on the door, and the sound of the phone ringing. If I listened close enough I could hear the sound of him never answering. I do not remember exactly what happened, but I know that I was crying uncontrollably and trembling. My mom tried everything she could think of, she even hummed a beautiful song that has comforted me in the past, but even that couldn't pacify my worried brain.

I only calmed down when my father finally answered the phone and reassured me that he was okay until he could tell me in person. He stayed in my bed with me that night, to remind me that he was there and would never leave me, ever.

"No need to worry, I'll always be here for you. No matter how gray the clouds may turn
you're the little ray of light that always manages to come through, my little Sunshine," he spoke with a furor of emotion.

My mind is engulfed with memories of my past, adrenaline took over me and I jerked up before saying, "I feel better. I just want to leave, please just let me go." I shoved past everyone until I got to the front of the school building.

"I just need some fresh air," I mumbled to myself as I felt the chill in the air wrap around my body, and the wind whistles through my hair. I leaned my body against the cool brick wall and held my head in my hands, trying to run away this cruel headache.

Beside me, I heard Jay say, "Your mom is getting you out early, okay," to which I shook my head before I took his hands in mine.

"I want you to come with me," I spoke. Then he replied, "Don't worry, school gets out soon and I'll be right over."

No tears came from my eyes, just admiration as I looked him over and whispered, "I love you." As he started to speak in reply, I cut him off by finishing with, "I mean it, Jay. I don't know how I would make it without you. So, think about what you're about to say."

Side by side, we stared at each other in comfortable silence before he articulated, "I love you too, Day. You see me... the way no one else does. You mean the world to me."

His words caused me to smile and him to smile in suit. I was glad to be able to see him again as he brought me the comfort I missed so much after these past few weeks. Ending our exchange was my mother as she walked out of school and told me, "There you are. Let's get you home."

In the parking lot, I watched as Jay turned around, walking back into the forgotten halls of Deering High. Turning around I walked over to the passenger side of my mother's Subaru Outback, feeling nervous over the ensuing conversation that I would have to endure. My mom cranked up the car and I remembered the sounds that caused my panic attack to develop.

I heard only silence before a series of thumping erupted followed by the sound of broken glass and an angry Dennis yelling, "Stay away from my mom!" Thoughts rampaged in my head of what could possibly be happening as I heard the faint tears of my mother in the background.

Seeing my mother beside me now, I saw her disheveled appearance, as if she had been through the apocalypse. Her above shoulder-length blonde hair was tossed into a tiny, loose ponytail and a grieved expression took hold of her face.

"Mom, what happened," I questioned before she replied with, "You had a panic attack, sweetie." I rolled my eyes and looked out the window as we drove the path back home that we always did. She knew that wasn't what I'm talking about.

As I took in the familiar sights, I realized that I had to know when I quaked, "Please mom, I... I need to know."

My mom sighed and bleated, "You were gone; I was worried beyond belief and I didn't know what to do. You've never snuck out before, my love. I called your father to see if he had any idea where you were, and he came over. He and Dennis..."

My mom trailed off before stating, "It is okay, things will be better. I promise," with a dead stare in her eyes. Moreover, the conversation was over, even though I was not sure if I believed her. The rest of the ride home I sat there, staring at the small bruise occupying her wrist.

Home, sweet home, I thought to myself as we parked in our driveway, looking over this residence filled with memories: the good, bad, all of them, saturating into my head at once.

Through the doors of my home was a war zone. Glass concealed our hardwood floors, faint signs of blood pierced through over the clear signs that someone tampered with it. There was a muteness that is known to follow only the worst of experiences. The walls, once disguised in memorabilia, became covered in cavities that could only be made by a human fist.

"How.... how did this happen?"

I murmured in disbelief, trembling, to only be responded with the cold echo of devastation in the form of a sigh. I looked up at my mother to see if her eyes parroted my own feelings of bewilderment, for some sort of hope or optimism, but I was looked back at with the same look from the car: an overwhelming amount of nothing.

From behind me, I felt a hand glide over my shoulder, trying to bring me comfort, but all I felt was a nonentity. I brushed his hand off my quaking shoulders and little by little I walked upstairs. Then to my room, avoiding the shattered glass around me.

"What's next, where do we go from here?" I whispered to myself as I enveloped my body in a mountain of pillows of blankets.

I never wanted to leave, and I felt nothing. I wanted tears to burst from my eyes, but my body couldn't grant me the pleasure of emotions. There I laid, and there I stayed.

"Please, let me sleep. I want nothing more to pretend my day has been nothing but a dream, God please," but I was bestowed no such peace.

I could not even close my eyes. "Honey," I heard through my pillow and blanket fortress, "Do you want to talk?" I resonated with what my mom's soft but anxious voice said to me.

I desired to speak, but I was numb. I felt my bed shift as a person laid down next to me and seconds later, I caught a glimpse of unwanted light, piercing through my fortress. Soon, my head and torso were uncovered. I shook my head lightly as she tenderly guided her digits through my hair.

No one spoke; I guess we did not need to. A few minutes went by and my mother enwrapped her arm around my waist and laid her head beside mine before whispering, "Sleep, my little girl." How did I feel? Honestly, I didn't have a clue. Nevertheless, I know that I drifted off to sleep a little while later.

Darkness fell over my eyes and was replaced with two beaming figures occupying a swing set. As I drew closer, it became apparent who these silhouettes were. Two brown-haired, green-eyed Native American people. One only a child and the other a fully-grown adult.

It was my father and me, when I was about seven, gallivanting in the park near our home. I was on the swing while he was pushing me. I watched as we laughed and joked as he pushed me high above the air and into the clouds. The clouds were soft, white, and fluffy; just how you would expect. You see, clouds are always together, they get gloomy together, pleased together. They are a family that is seen all over the world, and they are never separated. I longed for that togetherness again.

* Hi, I hope you enjoyed the part! I've been working on my cast and enjoying other stories on Wattpad. Thank you for the continued support! *

What storyline are y'all enjoying more, the family or Jay? *