Catching Rainbows

30

That night, Chloe and I snuggled on the couch, watching a movie on her laptop while Hailie sat in her stroller in front of Bubble Guppies. It was only seven but I kept drifting off, the medias mixing to give me confusing dreams.

I couldn't go to bed because my aunt was still passed out. I knew she was alive because she was snoring, and breathing, and had peed the bed. That had only happened half a dozen times before and it made me sad and angry and disgusted, which in turn gave me guilt.

The front door opening brought me back to reality.

"Here, don't forget your backpack," Jared was saying as he shadowed Nathaniel into the room. He saw us and stopped. "Sorry, I--" He averted his gaze, holding the pack out. "I'm gonna take off, glad you had fun today." He looked back at me super fast and away again.

"Lulu, aren't you going to introduce Cousin Jared to your new friend Chloe? I'm fairly certain they haven't met yet and it's only good manners to make introductions." Hailie was turned in her stroller to question me, a frown screwing up her little face.

"Hailie, don't worry about grown up stuff," I told her, more sharply than I intended. Chloe squeezed my hand in support under our blanket; she knew who he was and what he'd done.

"Well that's rude," Hailie said indignantly. "I was only trying to help and I don't know if you realize this but your tone is not very friendly at all. And introductions are important."

I felt my eye twitch and wished he would just go away.

He knew. "It's okay, I have to go," Jared said hastily. "See you guys later."

"But you have to be introduced! That's a social nicety!" Hailie insisted, getting caught in a loop now. Of all the fucking things.

"Hailie, leave Lulu alone," her brother said, because he understood so much more than she did.

"Don't tell me what to do! You're not the boss of me, Lulu is!" Hailie said hotly, struggling to get out of her stroller so she could stand in front of us with her hands on her hips. "This situation needs introductions and it looks like I will have to make them! Cousin Jared, please to meet Chloe, and Chloe this is Cousin Jared, you can shake hands," she guided, the little busybody.

Chloe gave him a little wave instead. "Forgive me if I don't shake hands," she said to appease the little Miss Manners. "I've heard so much about you," she said evenly, her tone disdainful.

He had the good grace to flush and look down, kicking one scuffed shoe with the other.

"Now you say 'nice to meet you'," Hailie prompted, anxious and of course missing the underlying tension.

"Nice to meet you," Jared parroted without meeting our eyes, knowing Hailie wouldn't stop until the ritual was completed.

"There," she said in satisfaction, moving back to her stroller in front of the TV. "Was that so much to ask?" she added huffily.

"Anyway, thanks for taking me," Nathaniel said hastily, literally pushing Jared toward the door.

He was happy to go and mumbled a good bye as he exited.

"My trustworthy, incredibly loyal cousin," I pointed out unnecessarily in a quiet voice, trying not to sound too bitter and failing.

Chloe just shook her head and kissed my cheek, tucking my hair behind my ear, which served to soothe some of the simmering anger.

Of course if he and Monica hadn't done what they had, I wouldn't have been single when fate smiled upon me and brought Chloe into my life.

Naturally my aunt appeared in the hallway then, yawning. Her hair was a rat's nest of tangles, makeup was smeared around her eyes, and she was wearing her oldest tattered bathrobe. The scent of urine hit us. "Did I sleep all day? I must be coming down with something," she dared to say blurrily, still half drunk, and I felt myself tense up at the sheer audacity.

Her son gave her a look of scorn too old for his face and slipped past her, going into the bathroom and shutting the door loudly. I felt her eyes on me but I refused to look at her. It was her fault I'd had to ask Jared for help, and her fault I'd slept for only a few hours. She couldn't even make it to an important doctor appointment in the middle of the damn day.

"Luna?" she asked, trying to pat her hair back into shape. "Hi Chloe, how are you?"

I stood up abruptly. "She's tired, because she got up at five to drive me home because the kids couldn't wake you up," I hissed as I got closer to her, so Hailie didn't notice. My little cousin was as wrung out from the hellish day as I was, though, and back in a television daze. "So I had to get Jared, who I love talking to, to take Nathaniel on his field trip, and Hailie's psych appointment was today, and for some reason you gave her pizza?! So she melted down all day on top of everything else!" I was furious. "What is wrong with you! You need to get some help. I can't do all this myself." The unfairness of it was crushing me. "I'm not their mother!"

She winced during this tirade, eyes bloodshot, looking like shit. I knew I was being mean, cruel even, but I had no patience left for her. "I'm sorry, I just . . . "

"I know what you just, the bottles were all over the floor," I cut her off. "Which your son saw too. Look, just deal with Hailie so I can get some sleep and, I don't know, let me be a person for a while with my girlfriend, if you can handle it."

She nodded, blinking back tears, which did nothing to thaw my heart. I went to kneel in front of Hailie, hoping Chloe could look past all the drama. "Mommy's up, I have to go help Chloe for a little bit so she's going to give you your medicine and put you to bed soon."

"But Lulu," she whined. "I want you to do it. I just want you to give me my mecidine and tuck me in and scratch my back until I go to sleep."

I felt like my mind would snap soon and I had to get away. "Chloe has an emergency so I'm taking her to the doctor," I said, because it was one thing that made sense to her and she didn't usually argue with. Whatever, I was a liar.

"Oh," she said, her brow knit together. "I didn't realize. I guess you have to then." It didn't occur to her to delve further into the excuse and notice that Chloe wasn't hurt at all, let alone wish her well.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. Don't eat anything with wheat in it, you at least know better," I said, shooting a murderous look at my aunt. "Look at how bad you felt today; that's from the pizza. So you have to stay away from it, okay? I know it's hard."

She had dark circles under her eyes. "I won't eat any more wheat or gluten, Lulu. I don't want more big meltdowns and fusses, it just breaks my heart into a million pieces," she said matter of factly.

My eyes stung, finally. "Mine too," I whispered, kissing her on the head, which she would sometimes allow. Now I let myself look at Chloe, who had folded up the blanket and was holding her purse. She looked like straight up salvation, holding her hand out to me and radiating a beautiful energy that was so much more than skin deep.

I took her hand and she squeezed mine as we went to the entryway. My vision was blurred with hot tears. I ignored my aunt as I grabbed my own purse out of the entryway, and knew I should check on Nathaniel but I just had to get out. So that's what I did.