Hearing Anna

ii.xiv

HE DOESN'T TRY TO fix me with hugs and kisses and cuddles. he texts me every morning to take my pills, talks to me when insomnia is a bitch, and leaves me notes on the dorm door every afternoon since he gets out of his last daily class before me.

it does make me feel better. slowly and quietly, with the soft touch of his hands, he clears a bit of the fogginess in my brain.

dr. carraway smiles a little bit when i come to our session two weeks after our evening on the bench.

after all of the usual talk, she says, "you seem to be trusting of mr. thomas."

i nod.

"why is that so?"

"so, uh, like i said last week, he sat with me for an entire night despite my breakdowns, and since then he's been making efforts to comfort me. and... i think it's been working."

"what are your feelings toward mr. thomas?"

i freeze. "um, well, that's a bit complicated."

her gaze bores into me.

this is the only place i ever let my words pour out of my mouth freely. "alright, i like him. he's kind and sweet and makes me feel a bit more okay. i've only had one panic attack in the past two weeks, and when i did he answered my call and... god." i bury my face in my hands, smiling into my palms. "i like elliot thomas."

"this young man seems to be very good for you, ms. beasley."

i smile wider, but i like to think she can't see my grin. "i believe he is."

i glance up from my hands. her face is one of a happy shrink, one i don't believe i've ever seen in my time within these sort of offices.

"anyhow, i assume you've also been taking your pills consistently?"

for once, i can answer the question with a resounding, "yes."

"at this rate, when we reassess your health in two months, you'll be doing much better than you were the first time you were assessed here."

"that's good, correct?"

"of course, anna."

holy shit, i could be healthy.

"and is there maybe anything i could do to further better my mental health until then?"

"just... if you like this man, you should pursue him, as well as any of your other positive goals for the short and long term."

"... and do you think he's a short or long term pursuit?"

"that isn't for me to determine, but if you like him, i believe you know the answer."

i smile.

"that'll be all for today. thank you for listening to my advice."

i nod. "thank you for giving it."