I SEE YOU NOW (A Cara Delevingne Fanfic) GxG

CHAPTER I: Samantha

To say that I still believe in fate would be a lie. Or even destiny. When we were young, we thought these things were true. That someday, we get to be what we want to be in life. To meet someone we want to spend the rest of our life with. To do something we thought we were destined to do in life. Later on, I realized that it's just a silly thing old people wanted to instill into the younger minds in the hopes that the latter wouldn't give up on their dreams the former has already started to forget.

The truth is.... things just happen. No destiny. No fate.

"One medium hot cappuccino, please," I ordered, hoping my voice was loud enough for the barista to hear. Not that I mind what my best friend had told me about my soft voice when it comes to talking to girls.

"That would be $3.40, Miss...?"

"Samantha, thanks."

I gave my best smile. Less awkward and nervous, I hoped. The barista smiled back as I handed her the money.

She has a cute smile, I made a mental note to myself as I walked to the other counter and waited for my cup of coffee. To think about it, I was not entirely sure why I feel these things are normal to me.

As you can probably tell, I am gay. I used to reason out that maybe I just like girls just as much as I like boys. I thought this was some kind of disease that one has to deal with growing up. Or an infectious illness I have to hide from everyone. I used to mentally hurt myself for wasting time gushing about the new girl next door instead of finding the cure. 

Funnily enough, I realized that I can't really change who I am. And it messed me up, really, by hiding my sexuality while growing up. Maybe I was more concerned about what others think of me rather than what I feel about myself. 

It wasn't really easy being an introverted gay. Most people would just assume I have a boyfriend. What else was I suppose to answer back? 

It wasn't a life worth living. I knew I had to change that. I needed to change that.

So I became a writer. What better way than to release all the frustrations about my sexuality than to put it into somebody else's character? I became a screenwriter. 

My recent work was a short film about being lost in identifying one's identity/sexuality, about depression and suicide. I had no idea why these things seem to always connect. Like one couldn't exist without the other. I guess I could say I'm always inspired from my own experiences. 

You see, it wasn't just being gay that I had trouble with. I also have been fighting my own demons. And I hoped that was not really my destiny -- to struggle the rest of my life.

"One medium hot cappuccino for Miss Samantha," I heard the girl announce, her sweet enthusiastic voice bringing me back to reality.

I took my coffee and chose the seat on the farthest corner of the shop. It was quiet and I loved quiet. 

As I settled on a table across an old woman with her head perched down on an old tattered book, a message popped into my phone. It was from Ben, my big brother. He's an architect back home. Then he moved to New York to work with the company he dreamed working with when he was just sixteen years old and ambitious.

I saw Roo this morning while I was out walking Petunia. Petunia was a Yorkshire Terrier, his girlfriend's dog. She bought some grass rubbish from Orchard. I think I know where she lives. Do you want me to stalk her and get her back for you or something? Because I can definitely help you with that.

I exhaled a silent snort. Ben has always been there to pick me up when I'm broken and I love him for that. I guess it's just what siblings do. Or supposed to do in that matter.