The Four Interchanging Lives of Regulus Black (Harry Potter Fanfic)

That's Not Right

"No. That can't be right."

Regulus' eyes blinked, his mind muddling as if yet another—

He took a deep breath, looking around the place, the train, fingers clenching the front of his robes as his mouth tightened. His fingers of his other hand flexed back and forth, eyes opening and closing as Regulus ran a mental check that ended up doing nothing.

"No. I can't." Regulus' eyes blinked, realizing he had said those words aloud. His head tilted. "I can't what?"

"Regulus, go and find your cousin Narcissa already."

Regulus turned, confused regarding everything, his mouth opening as he looked at his mother, waving her hand. "I'd gone to see Sirius originally, only to be sent away crying to Narcissa, but she's saying I should go and see her right away." Regulus' mouth closed together, and he closed it, then said, "No."

"No?"

"I'm going..." Regulus stammered out. "I am going."

"Not to your brother."

"To make friends!" Regulus said. "I'm going to make friends!" He took a deep breath. "I'm really going to try really, really hard and make friends this time!"

"This time!"

"This time," Regulus muttered, realizing he'd misspoke, then said firmly. "I'm going to make friends. I can do it, I think."

"That's very," Waluburga said, then let out a deep breath, waving him off as if unsure of the sudden proclamation from her youngest, his insistence that he make friends. "Well, be off with you. And stay out of trouble!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Regulus said, turning and—

He walked away sniffling, but from behind him, he heard his mother sigh, indicating possible displeasure. He continued walking stiffly for quite a few steps, his mind reeling, his voice catching in his throat. "I can't believe I actually said that! I actually said—I've got to be some kind of idiot, right? I mean, no way. I'm screwed." Taking a step forward, he continued, his gait smoothing out. However, he tumbled over his two feet occasionally, eventually coming to a compartment he knew neither Sirius nor Narcissa was in. He opened the door, sliding it open.

"Be brave. Just announce that you want to make..." Regulus thought, his eyes blinking. "Friends."

"No. Absolutely not."

Regulus stiffened, a chill running down his spine. "Uh. I'm, uh..."

"Regulus Arcturus Black," the girl said.

His eyes blinked. "She's the girl from the shop, right?" And then, "Wait. What shop? What..."

"And no. We can't be friends."

"Wait," Regulus said, his hand lifting, swallowing as he did so. "Um, I, uh..."

"Your mother made that quite clear years ago."

"Years ago?" Regulus' head tilted. "She and I—but the shop, this time, hadn't. What shop? A shop that I knew people, but what shop? And it's someplace in the future, not—she shouldn't know me, right? What is..."

"So, would you please go away?"

"Uh, sure," Regulus choked, sliding the door shut. The words hurt, hurt in a way. "Why? Why do I feel?" A hand reached up, clenching his heart as he swallowed. "Why the bloody Merlin? Does this feel worse than Sirius rejecting me? Why? Why am I?"

Tears started falling, hitting the floor of the hall. He tried wiping the tears away, only—

"I am going to be in so much trouble if maman finds out I've been publically trying. I've got to hide, do something."

"Reggie?"

He looked up, startled, then said. "Evan?" He let out a sniff.

"What's the matter?"

"I'd, um, uh."

"Spit it out," his cousin said, sighing.

"Friend."

"I'm your friend."

"No. Family." He pointed at the door. "Friend."

Evan turned his head. "You tried to make friends? And they..." Evan let out a sigh, pulling up his sleeves. "I am so going to make them pay for that."

"No, please, no!" Regulus tackled him, burring his face.

"You're getting my robes," Evan said, only sighing. Then, "Fine, fine. Let's find a compartment. A quiet place. The last thing I need is Aunt Walburga chewing me out for letting you make a scene publicly."