The Four Interchanging Lives of Regulus Black (Harry Potter Fanfic)

Don't Give Up

"I'm sorry."

Sirius' eyes blinked, taking in yet another surprise that day as his father apologized, although, in the back of his head, he couldn't help but wonder, "What for?"

"Your brother," Orion said, getting up off his knees and moving in a manner that reminded Sirius that his father became a parent in his thirties rather than his twenties. The man stood and gently reached out to ruffle Sirius' hair, to which Sirius responded by pushing his father's hand away.

"What about him?"

"Be patient with him, Sirius. He's not a normal child," Orion said, drawing Sirius's attention to his father's face to see the man smiling. "Goodness knows I never expected him to hug me back, but it is progress."

"Progress?" Sirius asked, tilting his head. "This didn't happen before, neither Regulus' episode last night nor him ever returning a hug." Sirius swallowed, then decided to say the next part aloud, unsure how his father would respond. "I'd given up."

"Huh?" Orion said, tilting his head, finding Sirius' response amusing. "As I recollect, you tortured Regulus with your abundant affection when you returned for school break last year." His father's gray eyes blinked, his breath sucking in. "But then, now that I think of it."

"What?" Sirius asked.

"It was only the first break," Orion said, frowning. "You seemed disappointed more than usual at his response, but then he also startled greatly, giving you a bloody nose, didn't he?"

Sirius frowned, thinking back, then sucked in his breath, remembering how he'd come home for the first school break and sneaked up on Regulus on tip-toe, attempting to hug his younger brother from behind, only to receive an elbow in the nose, as well as, "Regulus cried bloody murder, I remember."

"Yes, well..." Orion cleared his throat. "In Regulus' world, giving his older brother a bloody nose is equivalent to bloody murder, isn't it? Things are always..." The man took a deep breath and turned, touching Sirius' shoulders. "Listen to me carefully, Sirius, but heed my advice. For Regulus, things are always very black and white in one extreme or another."

"I know," Sirius said, brushing his father's hand away. "After all, he had the gall to tell me my side was the evil side, as if..." Sirius closed his eyes. "As if he really did think his side was the good and just side, but I remember now." Sirius swallowed. "I remember he really was never one to hurt anyone purposefully, yet he somehow became a Death Eater." He took a deep breath. "I thought you didn't notice."

Silence, then—

"That's fair," Orion said. "We did, after all, try to make things seem normal, to make Regulus feel normal. He's not, though, Sirius. But as I said earlier, you need not worry. You're in Gryffindor, and Regulus will be in Slytherin."

Sirius' eyes blinked, and he looked up at his father. "But what if he wasn't?"

Orion reached out and ruffled his hair again, letting out a sigh. "What did I say about your brother seeing things in a very black-and-white manner? It's Slytherin or nothing for him. That's the way he is, Sirius."

"But what if it isn't?" Sirius said.

"Sirius, please."

"He hugged you back," Sirius blurted out, watching his father tilt his head. "You said yourself you never expected him to hug you back?" Sirius felt his mouth twist into a smile. "Not that I ever expected to see my old man hug someone, but then, Regulus dying resulted in him kicking the bucket, so perhaps—perhaps there is hope for Regulus, for them both?"

"Sirius, whatever you're planning..."

"I promise!" Sirius said, grinning ear to ear. "None of my usual pranks!"

"Pranks?" Orion said as Sirius turned, hurrying off to find Regulus. "I was thinking of running afoul of that mother of yours, Sirius!"

Sirius paid his father no heed, instead going and looking for Regulus. "The first place anybody would look for him is his room, so the other place he'd hide—the study then." He headed straight for his father's study. "No wonder I always thought he'd disappear and appear strangely. He always hid in the one place I'd never go—father's study, but I'd always thought we'd be in huge trouble if we went there."

He ran his fingers along the hidden door, letting out a sigh of relief as it sprung open before stepping in, taking in how the place, the study, lacked the usual feel of dark magic that the rest of the house did. "But then..." Sirius let out a deep breath. "But then father liked to keep this a safe place for Regulus, didn't he?"

His first thought was the coffee table, and yet, like before, he could see under the table from the door, so he headed over to his father's desk and peered under, sighing in relief. "There you are!"

He watched Regulus startle, noting how his brother sat there with his knees pulled to his chest, reminding Sirius how, during Regulus' first few years at Hogwarts, he would often find his brother sitting in the strangest places, knees pulled to his chest. Regulus sucked in his breath in response, acting as if he might have a sudden emotional episode.

"Hi!" Sirius said, watching his brother flinch. He felt the corner of his mouth twitch.

"Be patient with him, Sirius. He's not a normal child."

"And something was wrong, back then, if he was trying to find hiding places his first few years, yet I didn't even stop to think something was wrong, but it's now too late to find out what was wrong, what drove him to hide away like that." Sirius took a deep breath. "But I can change the now." He let out a laugh. "Sorry. I was a bit loud, right?"

In the back of his mind, he'd pictured Regulus responding with some form of quip or even saying something questioning the idea of Sirius caring. Still, instead, Regulus scuttled away, out from under the desk and to the door, moving far quicker than Sirius realized his younger brother could move. Then Sirius was after him, out the study door as well, calling out to his brother as his younger brother headed up the stairs, likely to his own room.

"Hey. I'd like to hang out, Regulus. Do you want..."