Mental Health Poems

control

I'm stuck, paralysed and locked away.
All control is suddenly being handed over.
He is taking control, my demons will run this show.
Together we have a colourful war field of a past.
Alas he makes a return.
My demons, once again, have fought to the surface.
Soon this little control I hold will be taken from me.
Stripped from all control I will be useless.
What is the point of me, what is my purpose?
I feel lost and not needed, life continues without me just fine.
Observing from the back seats I've watched the people I love living life to the fullest.
I summed they don't need me.
I have no purpose, I am useless
All I do is cause pain so why am I still here.
Always been an issue maker never one to provide support or love. Never needed.
Even my family don't need me they don't want me.
They just use me. They don't want me.
I have no purpose.
Why am I still here then?
'Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds, it's like adrenaline the pain is just a sudden rush for me'
My dopamine hits are received through any and all forms of self harm.
Useless is what I am, ungrateful too.
I'm not allowed to be depressed, I shouldn't be depressed. I have everything yet I still complain.
I have no purpose.
  ~ Alz