𝑹𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒆𝒆𝒔 𝑿 𝒀/𝑵 (𝑻𝒘𝒊𝒏 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒍)

Chapter 20~ Apologies

A blinding beam of early morning light shined straight through my blacked out curtains and onto my face, causing me to finally awaken from probably one of the best sleeps I have had in a while.
You know that good sleep you get after crying? Yep that one. Unwillingly, I attempted to sit myself up, rubbing my tired eyes. I sat there for a good ten minutes trying to wake myself up.
All recollection of last night's events immediately hit me, reminding me why I even cried in the first place.
That's what I hate about waking up, the memory always ends up coming back to you. I let out a heavy sigh as I felt all of my remaining pain coming back to me. River and I have argued many times in the past, but they were nothing compared to last night. Last night felt so much more different compared to our past disagreements. This one felt more serious. Almost intimate in a way. I truly hated every single emotion that I was feeling right now. I felt like I couldn't even go near River after what happened. And the thought of that just breaks my heart. I slowly got up from bed and tried my hardest to ignore all of the negative emotions that were flooding through my entire body right now. As I instinctively went to open my door I remembered that I was only in my underwear under this long shirt, with that I quickly pulled my hand away from the door nob and went to change into something more appropriate to wear before leaving this bedroom.

I didn't even bother to check my outfit out in the mirror like I usually do. To be completely honest, I wasn't really feeling like myself this morning. I don't know why but I feel like I've naturally shut myself down after what happened last night. I'm sure it's nothing, it'll go away once I distract my mind. As I tried to mentally reassure myself I eagerly made my way into the kitchen. I don't know what caused me to feel so starved all of a sudden, but I didn't waste no time to make myself some delicious ham and cheese sandwiches for breakfast. It must be from all the drinking last night.

As I was finishing the last bite of my sandwich I realized that I hadn't seen any of the guys yet. This was unusual for me to not at least see Wyatt in the living room. My first intention was that they were all in the editing room finishing off our upcoming video. I silently walked over towards our editing office and peeked my head into the room, satisfied I found all of the boys practically hibernating in their chairs. Every inch of their attention was put in the computer screens Infront of then. I let them be and made my way back into my room. The first thing I decided to do was clean and reorganize my entire bedroom to help get my mind off of River. And let me tell you it definitely worked. Well that was until I finished of course.

I spent a good two hours reorganizing my room while listening to my music play in the background, I was feeling very satisfied with the end result. Sometimes I like change in my life, depending on the situation. I let out deep relieving sigh as I analyzed my room one more time then plumped myself down on the bed. All of that work left me exhausted already, I decided to lay in the middle of my bed and scroll through my social media for a bit, still trying to keep my mind distracted. As expected I had received multiple notifications from fans tagging me in photos of their fan arts of the boys and I. I adored each and every one of them like always, our fans never fail to make my day. While scrolling I came across a photo that really stood out to me. It appeared to be a drawing of River and I investigating together. It was very detailed and had cute little quotes around us.
Ah shit, here we go again with the thoughts of River. I pressed the like button on the post then quickly exited the app, as well as my phone. I placed my phone on my stomach as I stared up at the ceiling, overthinking starting to come into overdrive once again.