Traded In

Chapter 19

"Do you love me Leilani?" His gaze deeply pierced right through me as I looked down at his chest. My heart carelessly pounding in my chest as a daze gushed over me.

I drew a deep breath, exhaling lightly with my eyes closed, then I looked at him, a soft expression carved on his divinely masculine countenance.

"I....I don't know." It came out flat yet taut.

He let go of my hand, his expression quickly deteriorating. Swiftly in rage he rose to his feet and started started to walk away. "Christoph!" I called quietly as if my voice was stuck in my throat.

I laid in my bed in silence, still dazed. His question kept on replaying in my mind and I couldn't give myself an answer. I was scared to. If I love what are the chances that he'll stay with me. What are the chances that he'll actually love me.

All the pieces I've lost I have loved immensely. And maybe I'm afraid that he too will leave me like everybody. My mother, my father, the people I considered friends and even my dreams.

I couldn't handle any more pain.

A quiet knock sounded at my door. I wiped my face dry, with a light sob then went to unlock the door and quickly sat back down onto the bed.

He pushed the door open, then closed it shut behind him. "I hope I'm not intruding." I glanced at his barely illuminated face as I only had a single lamp on.

"No, you're not." I sobbed wiping my face dry. He seemed to have something in his hands. I couldn't make it out.

"I figured you'd be hungry since you didn't eat anything." He said moving towards me.

"I'm, I'm fine." I wasn't.

He inhaled through gritted teeth. "Well I cooked some noodles. Unfortunately they'll go to waste."

I giggled, holding back the ocean of emotions within me. "Even you haven't eaten. We can share." I took the hot bowl from him and he slumped down right next to me. He reached by the night stand turning the lights on, "I figured we need a little more light."

"Yeah, keep figuring." I said teasingly sending us both into laughter. I'd never heard him laugh to be honest. It was a rare sight something I'd like to see more often.

We shared the noodles, I fed him and he did the same occasionally we also lightened the mood with a stupid conversation on anything and everything. I slurped up the very last fork full of noodles while he watched with the hottest smirk on his face. I put the bowl away turning my attention to him. We locked our fingers as I lied down on the bed while he stared down at me propped on one elbow. The silence took over but it wasn't the awkward kind. "About__ earlier." I breathed. "The only reason I said that is because I'm not sure how I feel about you. And I, I've never been in love so I can't... I-."

"I understand. The fact that you're still here puts me at ease." I smiled as he ran he hand through my soft, coily hair. "It makes me wonder if you'd still be here if I gave you your freedom." I saw no reason for he to be still keeping me like this but I guess we still need to learn how to trust each other.

"Don't worry, I'm never going to leave you." It was a lot yes. But I really wanted to stay by his side forever. He smirked planting a rough yet gentle kiss on my lips.

He laid down and I popped myself up this time. His cloudy irises fixed on me as I gently caressed his thick brows with my fingers. "You're my peace mia farfalla." He let out half asleep causing me to smile.

My eyelids peeled open, I gazed around and he wasn't here. How consistent was he? At least I'm glad he had a good night's sleep. Yesterday was hard.

I got ready putting on one of Christoph's hoodies. It was so big yet so perfect. It smelt like him. With it I wore a pair of black skinny jeans.

I dismounted the stairs. A delicious aroma filling the air. I made my way to the dining room where Christoph sat too busy to even notice my presence. I hated this side of him.

"Good morning." I took my seat watching him keep his gaze on his tablet completely ignoring me. I felt used.

A variety of food were served by a trail of chefs and it was only breakfast. We certainly weren't eating alone. "Good morning!" I turned to the voice. Russ, Demetrio and Vincent walked in, forcing a smile on my face. "Morning." I replied.

They took there seats, Vinny taking one right next to me. "It's good to see you."

"I'm excited to see you all." I grinned.

"How'd the oil transit go?" Christoph asked. Finally putting his tablet down as we plated.

"Good. Although you were supposed to be there." Demetrio grunted.

"Why? You already sealed the deal, didn't you?" He looked up from his plate at Demetrio who sat a seat opposite to him.

"Forget the deals, you know you didn't have to kill Jacopo!" Vinny barked and I dropped my fork. Immediately regretting my clumsiness as they all stared at me. "S-sorry." I stood up. An uncontrollable shudder taking over my body, when Christoph's voice sounded, "Sit down Kaele." He seethed through gritted teeth. I took my seat. A sudden weakness gushing over me, I couldn't eat anymore.

"I'd suggest you fix things with Ada. She wasn't pleased with how much you disrespected her." Russ also let out but in a calm manner.

"And what does that have to do with me?" They all went silent for a while. I could feel the tension between them. Between all of them. I felt sick.

"If she feels I disrespected her then tell her to stay out of my business, I have to many problems to deal with already." He glanced at me. "And I don't need one more." He left the table. My insides crumbling, am I a problem?

"Excuse me." I spoke softly leaving the guys. I made my way upstairs when I bumped into Lucciano and he caught me and helped me stand up right. "Be careful." He said.

I looked him in the eyes. His eyes falling on my clothing. "You look good."

"Thanks." I said bluntly pulling back then walked away.