When All is Lost

13.

I take a step back, I need air. This room is so hot I feel like I'm going to faint. There are so many faces staring at me, I have never been more conscious of how I look.

I'm still in the clothes I threw on at ridiculous o'clock this morning. The clothes I've travelled across the country in. The clothes I kissed Nate in only hours ago. How has this happened?

I step back again, and suddenly I'm moving through the group. I push Tommy's smug brother, Ben, out of the way and nearly reach the door when Laya rests a hand on my arm.

"Are you..." I don't find out what she was going to ask because the doors burst open and I'm face to face with Her Majesty the Queen.

A guard looks sheepish beside her, a key in his hand.

"What is happening?" Elissa demands and I freeze, I do not want to be the one to tell her.

Neither does anyone else, the gathered witnesses stare at the walls or their feet. Everyone except Nate. He moves forward, touching my arm and guiding me to stand beside Laya, who shifts just in front of me. That's my move, I think. A rush of emotion towards the Captain of the guard makes me want to cry. No one ever protects me. Yet, Nate and Laya just synchronised to put themselves between me and the Queen.

"My father has passed away," Nate says, and I can hear the shift in his voice. He's already changed.

Elissa glances to the bed behind him, her eyes fixed and staring at the body there.

"Why wasn't I invited to this little bedside vigil?" She asks, glancing at each and every person in the room. They squirm under her gaze, then she finds me, fixing me in her glare. It's like she knows who to blame.

"I don't know." Nate says, "but it wasn't a vigil. My father wanted me to marry."

Oh, I feel sick.

"Marry?" The Queen growls, her ice-blue eyes driving themselves into my face. She knows. "Who did he want you to marry?"

"I have married Charlotte," Nate says and I'm very grateful when he doesn't reach for me or look at me or need me to do anything.

The Queen offers me no such favour. Anger whispers behind her calm facade. I try to stand firm, I hope I don't look the way I feel, which is like I'm a butterfly facing down a tornado.

She doesn't speak, she doesn't have to, she shows her disdain with a sneer, rolling her eyes and glancing back at Nate.

"These are your witnesses, I suppose." She asks, casually.

Nate nods. "They are."

"I'd like to see my husband." She says to the room, and people begin shuffling past, whispering commiserations.

I want to leave, but I force myself to wait.

For better or worse Nate and I are married. I can't abandon him immediately. Laya leaves, squeezing my arm in support before she does and I offer her a weak smile. Adam and Tommy take their time, but Nate ignores them, he is watching Elissa closely.

She takes up the chair beside the King and holds his hand, it almost looks like she's upset, except, her knuckles are white with how tightly she's gripping his hand. I take a step forward, but Nate puts his arm out stopping me.

"I'll be available to talk tomorrow, Elissa." He says, his voice bouncing around the empty room.

The heat has gone, the fire has died. Only Nate and I remain, but as we turn to leave, Bronson reappears with several maids. The older housemaids I notice. Those who will be respectful, and understand the gravitas needed to cleanse and prepare the old King's body.