When All is Lost

5.

I wake with a jolt, though immediately I relish the sense of being warm and comfortable. Sinking into the bed and under the covers. I open my eyes, realising I'm not in a bed. The covers are not blankets but a body.

Nate's body.

We are entangled in one another on the chaise having clearly fallen asleep and moved in the night.

Somewhere I hear knocking but it's competing with my heartbeat which is loud in my ears right now. I take a breath and lift Nate's arm from its position around my waist, sliding my legs out from between his and then finally shifting my shoulder out from under his head, replacing my body with a cushion which he nuzzles into. Still, miraculously, asleep.

The knocking comes again.

Across the hall.

My door.

I need to go but, am I supposed to wake him? No.

He won't know we cuddled up like that, when he wakes he'll just think I left.

Good.

I shoot out of Nate's room and come face to face with the back of a guard I've known my whole life knocking on my door. I suddenly wish I could use the shadows to appear in my room but I have no idea how to manage that. I'm just going to have to be embarrassed.

"She's in the courtyard" Lucius says, turning around and my cheeks heat as I close Nate's door behind me. He smiles instantly making a number of assumptions and I frown at him. My non-existent reputation really takes a beating but I'm not about to confirm or deny any of the rumours.

Instead, I nod, twisting to head outside to train with Captain Laya. She's waiting for me in the yard, looking pristine as always. I quickly tie back my hair as I survey the terrain; I'm used to the cobbles in the courtyard, but it snowed in the night and the ground is covered in white. It's been trampled in, so it'll be icy. I rub my boots into the salt on the steps before joining her in the yard. She doesn't speak, just tosses me a practice sword, a smile dancing on her lips and attacks. It's one of those days.

I respond slowly, when she moves to strike, I skip away, before swinging the blunt blade up in an arc and finding a strong footing. There's no way I'm getting beaten up today.

Laya comes at me again and I meet her blow, pushing her back and taking on the offensive. We continue this for a while until I am annoyed at making little to no progress and she steps back with a smile.

"Good Morning, Charlotte," she says, her voice deep and amused. She straightens her dark purple coat, all sleek lines and gold buttons. Her dark skin shimmers in the light, showing I wasn't as out of shape as I'd thought. Making Laya sweat is a rare feat indeed.

"Most people say hello with a hug or a smile. I'd be okay with that for future reference." I smile, throwing my blade back into the pile. As much as I complain about her methods, I'm grateful for them. She's taught me more than most about how to survive, not just in battle but in this strange life I live.

"Most people aren't my ward and responsibility. I will keep you fighting fit, even if it kills you." She gives me a quick hug and I smile enjoying the awkwardness.

"That's quite enough of that," I say and she laughs.

"Go get some breakfast, you're released," she says heading back into the barracks as I shrug my jacket back on and return to the palace.

I swerve down a flight of stairs and into the servant's quarters. This is the palace at its best. No royals, no Lords or Ladies, just the people who keep this building running.

Nowadays, I eat with Nate and the others but there's no way he's awake at this ungodly hour. I load my plate up with bacon, eggs and malted bread rolls, then steal the end of a table to eat. A few people glance over, I smile at those I recognise but it's been a long time since I've been down here. I suppose I'm not really welcome anymore.