Hello,
after months, I'm returning back to upload a new chapters. A lot has happened - so thank you for all the reads and votes so far. It really makes me happy and appreciated.
If I will ever reach 1K, I will surely upload the edited versions of the previous chapters and post some new chapters that are still due to be uploaded. I might upload the next chapter this weekend and probably two next week.
So, yeah thank you again. Take care of yourselves and your families. Know that you're one of a kind and I hope all of your wishes will come true :))
Love y'all and happy reads!!!
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Summer before junior year
Dear Diary,
do you know those people who always fake their lives? Their identities? Pretend their someone else? Behave differently than they are?
I don't like them at all.
Why be someone you're not? To please yourself or others?
Okay, seriously. I don't know, why I'm writing about that. I guess, I'm tired and alone. I know, my entries don't make sense but Mrs. Denvers said I should write down my thoughts. She has the feeling that I keep my feelings bottled up.
That's not true.
I just don't like to speak about them. Why should I? They're my feelings.
Anyway, I hope tomorrow is a good day.
Beginning of junior year
Okay, first of all - hi Diary,
Soo, I have to laugh. Why have I written that?
My answer was I'm tired and alone. I'm still tired but I don't care about the other part. Still, my whole entry from Summer was bullshit. I talk about people who pretend and fake their identity.
But I am the biggest pretender of them all. I pretended to be perfect, invincible and that nothing could hurt me. I pretended to be the perfect daughter, sister, student, human being, friend or girlfriend while all along I was ....nothing of that. I'm still nothing.
I guess I was just a girl who lied to others and herself. See, THE BIGGEST HYPOCRITE.
I was the one, who was faking everything. And I still do the same. I can't tell what happened there at my stay. I guess the only thing that was right in my Summer entry was that I hide my feelings.
I don't show them.
I bottle them up because I have to deal with them on my own. I can't tell anyone the truth except you. I don't want anyone to find out what I did.
Better to lose everyone and myself than tell the terrible truth. My truth.
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Two days I stayed. Today counted as my third day where I didn't leave my room.
The first day, I slept with my bloodied hand, dirtying my bedsheets. I know, totally gross but I couldn't care less. And if I thought Mrs. Avilla wouldn't come to me - I was wrong.
At first, I was very suspicious of her coming to my room because Cam knocked and told me, she'd come in. I thought it was his lame excuse to come to me since I closed myself in. He knocked nearly every two hours and asked if he could come in.
YOU ARE READING
Trying to live
Teen FictionEmerson Vermont, high school senior just wants to graduate and leave her hometown and all the drama (she probably caused too) behind. But what you wish for, don't comes that easily. When her mother has a car accident, Emerson has to live with Mrs...