Break In My Heart

53. Pretend

"Are you sure this looks fine, Addison? I don't need to do something different? You can tell me, promise," Tyler asked me over the phone as I continued brushing my teeth. It had been a little over a month since he left and we were doing pretty well given the circumstances. Once things started slowing down, we started video calling more often and even watched TV shows or movies together or did homework since the school was made aware of his situation and sent him everything he needed. Of course it didn't hold a candle to having him physically here with me, but I was grateful for all the things we were able to do.

I lightly chuckled before I spat out my toothpaste. I held my toothbrush between my teeth as I picked up my phone from its position leaning against the wall on the sink ledge and looked at him. He was wearing a simple dark blue suit with a white shirt underneath and a maroon tie. His hair was pulled up and the necklace I'd gotten him was tucked beneath his collar.

I smiled at him as I took the toothbrush out of my mouth. "You look perfectto."

"Thanks," he said as he looked down at himself. I could practically feel his nerves radiating through the phone. Today he was going to testify against his mother, a day he'd been dreading since the day she crashed back into his life unwelcome and unannounced.

"Hey, babe, look at me."

He lifted his gaze back to me.

"I know this is going to be hard, but you've got this. You've had mock trials and counseling. More importantly, you have your truth, and that's something that nothing and no one can take away from you. You'll make her and the judge see, just follow what your lawyer tells you to do and you'll be golden, okay?"

He nodded as he sighed and looked at me. "I wish I could hold you right now. That would make me feel a million times better."

I offered him a small grin. "I wish I could hold you too, Ty, and we'll be able to do that in no time, okay? Just keep your head up."

"Alright," he said just as his father called him from somewhere off-screen. "Ok, I gotta go. Have a good day and I'll keep you updated. I love you."

"I love you too, babe. Just breathe and pray."

"Will do," he said with a solemn grin before the line clicked dead. I found myself releasing a breath I hadn't known I was holding as I rinsed off my toothbrush and put it away. Moments like this made me want to drop everything and get to him, even if I had to run over a thousand miles to get there. But I couldn't. So instead I closed my eyes and clasped my hands together.

"Lord, please be with Tyler and his father today as they start the process of getting custody. Please give them the strength and encouragement that they need, and if they falter, pick them up. They deserve better than anything that monster could give them. Tyler deserves better. So please, Lord, bless them and help them come out victorious. Thank you for all You've done, You're doing, and all You're going to do. In Your son Jesus' name I pray, amen."

Once I was done, I opened my eyes and dropped my hands as I looked at myself in the mirror trying to calm myself down about a situation I had no control of. Though the prayer did make me feel better, it didn't completely eradicate all of my nerves. After a few moments of trying (and failing) to calm myself down, I did my skincare routine before I finished getting ready for school. It was crazy to think that Tyler had left on December 18th and now I was in the early days of February. The thought caused a small break in my heart due to how long it'd been and how much he still had to battle. Maybe I could convince my parents to let me see him over Spring Break in a few weeks if the judge's decision took as long as they'd predicted.

I got dressed in one of Tyler's hoodies– per usual– along with a pair of sweats and a denim jacket. I grabbed a large puffer jacket to go over it to combat New York's unforgiving coldness then threw on some shoes. I grabbed my backpack before I stalked out of my room and into the kitchen where Azalea was waiting for me, eating a bowl of cereal.