Fear of Falling

Chapter 31....

Dinner with Wyatt's family was amazing. We ate at a cute little Italian place that literally had the best pasta I've ever tasted. We all sat around talking and laughing. Evelyn telling me funny stories about Wyatt who sat there blushing. Yep blushing. It was cute hearing about how wild of a child Wyatt was. Landon even butted in a few times with some stories that had Evelyn looking at her sons with wide eyes, clearly not knowing half of it.

I loved learning more about Wyatt and his family. Watching them all interact with each other. Seeing the love they had for one another. A part of me ached as I sat there, wishing my dad was here too or that I had siblings. Siblings I could lean on and laugh with like Wyatt and his brothers.

But they all did a good job at including me in the conversations, even Landon who has warmed up to me some. I never once felt out of place and I couldn't be more grateful for that. Any and all doubts of meeting his family had long been washed away.

When we got up to leave the restaurant hours later I almost didn't want to say goodbye but the lingering glances from Wyatt instantly pushed those thoughts away. All night Wyatt has kept a hand on me. Whether it was my thigh or putting his arm on the back of my chair and running the tips of his fingers on the nap of my neck. Every touch stroking the fire still burning under my skin.

"Think you can make it to my party on Saturday?" Mateo brought up again as we headed for the parking lot. "I promise we can get some alone time." He dipped his head like he was going to whisper but instead spoke a tad bit louder so the man on my other side would hear. Laughing I nodded.

"I'll definitely be there." Like I could say no to the cute kid, especially when he looked at me with those blue eyes like Wyatt's. Puppy eyes that no doubt got him whatever he wanted. "I'll meet you at the bouncy castle." Beside me Wyatt choked at my words.

"Maybe I do like you." Landon came up and patted my shoulder, smirking over at Mateo. "She got you bro."

"Make fun all you want but bouncy castles are where its at." The wiggle off Mateo's eyebrows implied more.

"Don't be a pervert." Landon smacked the back of his head.

"I'm taking you home before something worse comes out of his mouth." Wyatt declared. "I'll see you on Saturday you twerp." Wyatt let go of my hand to yank Mateo into a headlock. "Good job today."

Letting them have their moment I went over to Evelyn who pulled me into a hug.

"It was so nice to meet you Josie." Her arms were tight around me. "Don't be a stranger okay? You are more than welcome at our house any day."

"It was nice to meet you too. I had a great time today." And I meant it. Today was a lot of fun and not at all what I had thought it would be like. True to Wyatt's word his family was amazing.

With another promise to Mateo to come Saturday and a bye to Landon, Wyatt practically whisked me away towards the car. Impatience finally showing as he tugged me to the car and literally shoved me inside.

The ride home was a blur. Now that we were alone the tension between us seemed to grow even more. The want and need hitting me like a ton of bricks. My body felt like it was on fire and was practically begging for Wyatt to touch.

I could tell he was feeling the same way as he gripped my thigh as I drove, shifting in his seat. He kept sending me looks that had me clenching my thighs together. The dark look in his eyes promising to devour me.

When we parked and got out, we were almost running into the building. For the first time since we got stuck, we got in the elevator. As soon as the doors closed it was like something took over me. I turned to Wyatt as he did the same. We stared at one another for a second before his lips and hands were on me.

Wyatt pushed my back against the wall of the elevator as his lips devoured mine. The kiss was no longer sweet and gentle, no this was a demanding-dominating kiss. His hands moving down to my ass and squeezing.

I gripped his shirt tight with my hands as I kissed him back with the same intensity. God I loved his kisses. When he moved away from my lips and trailed his down my jaw to the side of my neck I closed my eyes, leaning my head back.

"Wyatt." I said in a breathy whisper. My hands moved up to tangle in his hair, the strands so soft between my fingers. The feel of his lips on the side of my neck had me gripping his hair tighter. The dinging of the elevator doors had us pulling away.

Grabbing my hand Wyatt lead us out of the elevator, my head in a slight fog. I barely clued in that we weren't on my floor as we headed down an unfamiliar hallway. My nerves skyrocketed slightly at the fact I was about to go inside Wyatt's apartment and not just to hang out.

Swallowing I let him lead me inside his apartment, my hand becoming clammy. Now that we were here in his apartment, ready to take this to the next level I was starting to freak out. Its been awhile since I've done anything remotely like this.

I wasn't a hookup kind of person and my last relationship....well lets just say it only happened a few times and wasn't memorable in the slightest. The whole three times we did have sex it was all 'him him him' which was a whole separate issue.

After the whole thing with my ex in college it took a long time to be comfortable in my own skin again. To be able to look in the mirror and not have his voice in my head telling me I wasn't skinny enough, that I had too big of an ass, that my boobs weren't the right size, that I wasn't enough.

Having sex with my latest ex was a big deal for me even though it didn't end up how I wanted. But now here I am standing in Wyatt's apartment all those insecure feelings flooding right back.

I wasn't sure I could handle Wyatt leaving me if he didn't like what he saw. For him to see me and be disgusted. I was already in too deep with him. I wanted him so bad but did he want me the same way? I tried shoving the thoughts away but apparently wasn't doing a good job when Wyatt turned to face me and paused.

"Josie?"

My inner demons were starting to come out again. Words flooding my mind, memories of how I was never enough trying to grab hold. The last thing I wanted was to ruin this moment but I could feel myself spiraling.

"Josie." Hands grabbing my cheeks in a soft hold broke my thoughts for a moment. My eyes meeting his. "Talk to me." Wyatt's voice was so soft and calm, breaking through the memories threatening to take hold.

"I....I." I struggled to say. Tell him he'll understand. "It's been awhile since I've um....you know."

"That's okay." He said with a shake of his head. "None of that matters."

"Its just," my cheeks flamed as I forced the words out. "Every time I have done....it, its never been that great so I'm not really experienced." Which was true. Every time I've had sex, which is really only a handful of times, it was never specular. I never had that oh wow moment. I always left feeling disappointed and like I had done something wrong.

"And after my relationship with my one ex in college I couldn't really...you know." God I was so awkward. Despite my horrible explanation I could see the understanding bloom in his eyes. It was like he could see exactly what I was saying.

"Josie I don't care if you are experienced or not. I don't care how many people you have slept with, that doesn't define you. And neither does being inexperienced. Don't ever feel ashamed of something like that." Wyatt's hands were soft yet firm on my cheeks as he stared into my eyes, drilling his words into me.

"That stupid ex you had did not deserve you. The things he said or did came from an insecure dick-less of a man." I couldn't help but choke out laughter at his words. "Never, and I repeat, never take a word he said to heart." Wyatt took a step closer to me, the front of his body pressing into mine. "I plan on erasing everything that 'child' ever did and said. Do you hear me?"

The way he said it sent a shiver down my spine. The promise in his voice making my breath hitch in my throat.

"I said do you hear me?" His hand moved to grip my chin with a firm grip, his jaw clenched as he stared at me.

"Yes." I breathed out, the fire reigniting inside me.

"Good cause you are all mine."