Bouquets of Chocolate (manxman)

Memoirs #7

Luce and I weren't friends at first, that came gradually, and really only casually. But having Luce saved me from having to go out to find a partner, it took the risk of sleeping with a stranger away, and most importantly, it made me slowly stop smoking because Jordie felt more reassured once I had a constant partner.

Somewhere along the line, while spending less and less time being a reckless idiot, I started spending more time appreciating the city again, which I'd stopped doing a few weeks after arriving here. My focus quickly shifted to food again. I would obsessively spend hours finding cafes and bakeries, trying things off their menus or display cases, asking as many questions as I thought wouldn't be considered rude, and eventually, I found a job at a small bakery half an hour's walk away from our little flat. It meant I could stop doing odd jobs and it stopped me from going out almost completely. I had to be at work at ridiculous o'clock in the morning, which was probably the hardest part to begin with. I learnt as much as a I could, and the staff were happy to share their knowledge. I fell into a new routine. In the morning I would go to work, sometimes even on my days off, I would get off in the early afternoon, and then spend the day either with Jordie, or finding new culinary gems, or I would call Luce to see if he was free. It was a strange 180 to the life I'd been living before, but I felt happy and I felt energised in a way I really hadn't ever experienced. I dared say, at that point I thought my life was as close to perfect as it was ever going to get.

After helping Jordie at a few of his catering events he put on for his course and then later on a few pop ups he staged himself, I was hired by a relatively unknown pastry chef with no connections wanting to start his own dessert bar. He could tell I was good and I wasn't affiliated with anyone of importance already. I took it without second thought. So I worked in a commercial kitchen for a good few months, only to realise that all I spent my days doing was missing the bakery, the warm smell of bread in the morning, the casual and happy business that was so different from the stark and sometimes cold interior of this more commercial environment. So I quit and begged for my old job back.

Throughout all of that, I even made friends. They were largely staff at the bakery, some of Jordie's classmates and that one nutcase called Antoine. His sister was in Jordie's classes and they became fast friends, well, we all did. While I loved both of them, I had a special relationship with Marianne. Antoine and Jordie were both rather loud people when in the right mood, and while Marianne was never one to let down that expectation either, she was also the one I shared secret glances with over the table while the other two were laughing obnoxiously. She was the one I'd call to hang out when I needed to get out of the flat, and she became my second favourite taste tester for the recipes I'd been slowly working on over my time in Paris.

Between the four of us, regular brunch meetings were becoming a common occurrence on my days off, and early dinners or home cooked dinner parties were even more common. Antoine and his sister were still the only people Jordie and I ever allowed into our flat. We'd never spoken about it, but it was an unspoken rule that our flat was off limits. It was a safe space for both of us to retreat to and we never had the urge or need to share that.

Fast forward to today, Valentine's day, which I always took off for obvious reasons. We'd spent most of the night and the better part of the morning slaving away at our chocolates, his being a passionfruit, dark chocolate, basil truffle; he was very much into herbs these days.

"That was fantastic." he groaned in appreciation after eating my rather straight forward white chocolate chilli one.

"You say that every year." I rolled my eyes, but he only laughed at me and gave me a playful push. I pretended to be annoyed with him, but really, he was beautiful when he laughed. He was always beautiful, but something about when he was laughing made him look so carefree and content.