Faded Heart

Epilogue

I knew that death was coming. It haunted my nightmares for years and finally it had caught up to me. Never did I think that it would take John B, Ashtyn, and Sarah away. Three young lives taken from the world too soon. Three people who'd left such an impact on me, gone.. Long before they should've been.

For days I've been trying to hold it together for JJ's sake. He had just lost two of his closest friends. His best friend since the third grade and probably the one person who could understand what he's gone through with his father. Now two people he'd come to rely on were gone. I don't blame him for not being able to process this all.

JJ, Luke, and I had been staying at the Chateau since the storm. Even though they were my roommates, it wasn't uncommon that I'd find myself alone in the house. When I was alone I didn't have to pretend like this didn't affect me. I was hurting too. Oftentimes I'd find myself sitting in the living room wishing that it was me instead of them. Crying into whatever bottle of alcohol I could find laying around the place. They were my friends too and I never wanted it to end like this...

Today was different though, when I woke up I'd found myself with motivation. I found myself in the living room cleaning up the mess that the SBI left when they raided the place. They'd left nothing unturned and it was going to take a lot of cleaning. I felt it was a good way to get my mind off of things. The last few days were so dreary, maybe a little redecorating could help a little bit.

I felt good cleaning up the place, like I'd finally got my mind off of the bad things that had happened the last few weeks and was beginning to move forward. That was until I found a picture of John B and Big John laying on the floor under the dining room table. That was when I lost it.

I'd found myself practically bawling my eyes out on the floor once again. I was never going to see John B again. I was never going to see Ashtyn or Sarah again. They were gone forever and nothing was going to be the same again. The three of them were just nothing more than a distant memory like the picture.

I ran my fingers over the broken frame, tears falling from my eyes on to the picture. I now knew what John B felt like when Big John disappeared... I was lost. Unable to come to terms with the fact that my friends were gone. It just didn't feel real, it all felt like a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from.

I loved them. They were my friends and even in the short amount of time, they'd meant so much to me. We had been through a lot and would have been always connected because of it. Now that connection was severed with darkness..

After a few minutes, I mustered enough strength to stand up and put the picture on the nightstand next to the bed I'd been sleeping in. The frame sat right next to the picture of my sister and I. John B deserved to be remembered. He was one of the best people I knew. Nothing anyone said about him around the island would change the way I saw him. He deserved to be remembered, even if it was just by the small group of us. The Cameron family had slandered his name as the villain, but to us he was the hero.

I sat down on the bed, a million thoughts and emotions flowing through me as I stared at the picture of John B and Big John. But my thoughts landed on one thing, my own parents and my sister.

Momentarily, I felt a sense of longing creep through me. I wish that my own parents were there for me. I really needed someone right now, but I was alone. At seventeen, I was still a kid, I was still trying to find myself in the world. For someone so young, I'd already lost so much. Friends, family, and my life. Even if I had JJ, it still felt like I had no one.

I was alone. Just a girl who longed for someone to be there for her. I was in pain and I needed someone there for me for once, but there was nobody.. Nobody except for myself. I had to get used to it being just me. Hollis was right, I needed to get used to being by myself. I could get better as long as I looked inside.