His Best Friend's Sister

Chapter 20

The drive to the hospital was deathly silent.

Pulling into the hospital parking lot, it began to downpour. I could see my mom's hands shaking as she gripped the wheel. Robin was anxiously moving back and forth between twiddling her thumbs and biting her nails. All three of us were still in our pajamas, not one having taken the time to change before we left.

I had lately become comfortable with a newfound ability to control my overthinking. During this car ride, however, any progress I made was eradicated as my mind ran off with me to scary and dangerous places. My heart was thumping out of my chest and I was nauseous at the thought of a life without Alexander. My head was pounding and my vision blurred, melting all the streetlights into one another. The last time Alexander and I had talked, he called me a backstabber. Slightly before that, I attacked his relationship with our dad, then mocked him over hockey. This wasn't real life. It couldn't be. This was a sick nightmare that I was going to wake up from - and breathe a sigh of relief when I did.

Yet, as I entered through the hospital doors, vaguely heard my mother speaking to someone who worked there and glided past the emergency waiting room in a haze, I accepted the reality that this was actually happening. The bright and fluorescent hospital light fixtures stung my eyes. The smell of antiseptics and the distant sounds of chatter and beeps clouded my senses. It felt like an out of body experience as I walked through the bleach-white hallways and passed through large doors. My feet and legs were moving on their own, as if something had overtaken my body, separating my physical self from my brain. My mind was replaying visions and images of Alexander.

Alexander's chubby rosy face as I watched him play pond hockey.

Alexander's laughter watching a movie beside me on the couch.

Alexander giving me a disapproving look for something I did or said.

Alexander crossing his arms and puffing his chest out when a boy got too close.

Alexander hugging me and not letting go, the day we accepted that dad wasn't coming back.

Then, there he was in the same room as me.

Alexander with his eyes closed in a hospital bed, connected to a breathing tube, with IVs in his arms.

Robin choked and tears began streaming down her face. My mom rushed to Alexander's side, grabbed his hand, and began talking frantically to a nurse. I couldn't tell you what was being said. All I could hear was Alexander's voice in my head.

Want to watch me and Ricky play?

Keep your feet on the pedals! You got it!

Rub your tummy in circles, like this.

I'm not going to let my sister date anyone who isn't good enough for her.

This isn't you, all of it.

I was pulled out of a trance when all of a sudden, I saw my mom talking to a police officer.

"Alexander would never do that," she said frantically. "He would never drive drunk!"

"He wasn't driving," the officer told her. "It was another adolescent, and that individual was under the influence of alcohol."

My mom put her face in her hands and let out a few muffled sobs.

"Anastasia," Robin said shakily. "We should go wait outside."

I blindly followed Robin to the waiting room and sat down on a stiff cold chair beside her. I hadn't said a single word the whole night following the phone call. Robin grabbed my hand and squeezed it, before making an indistinguishable sound from the back of her throat. I looked at her pale face and tried to match where she was looking.