𝐀𝐋𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 ‣ jjk

四十三 ; hold me tight

day 16
8.52 pm
lee haru

hold me tight

lucky, huh
maybe meeting jeongguk was the
best coincidence to ever happen
in my entire life

and as i feel my heart picking up it's pace
when we stand side by side
under the falling snow
i know that i've fallen deeper
than i planned to
i just pray that he wouldn't hear the
banging of my heart against my ribcage

the snow falls steadily
slowly
beautifully
it's like all the time stopped around us
and it's just me and him standing here
two broken people joined as one

maybe i hope that he knows how much
he's made me feel all this time
but for now
maybe it would be best to stay silent

finding a place to stay the night was
harder than what i expected
eventually though, after walking around
for about a half hour
we find a traditional-themed hotel to stay in

the room is cozy
there's portraits of Andong Village
painted dozens of years ago
hanging on the walls
and also two cozy separate mattreses for us
filled with soft pillows and blankets
in the middle of the room

after settling down
jeongguk glances around
as if looking for something
his lips curve down in a frown
and i ask him what's wrong

and that's how we find ourselves
in a quiet cafe down the streets

he was looking for wifi
and the hotel didn't have any at the moment

"what do you need it for?" i ask
when we finally receive our orders;
two frappuchinos that jeongguk suggested we try
because apparently he thought that they way
they looked like on the menu was delicious

instead of answering me
jeongguk holds up his phone
and connects it before tapping away

i lean over to get a better look
of what he's doing
before he shoves his phone towards me
with a mischievous grin on his face

"are you seriously going to let me watch
all of your music videos tonight?"

he nods innocently
before plugging in some earphones

he puts one of it into his ear
and the other one into mine
ignoring my protests

oh well
what better way to start our winter this year
than to hum along to a popular
boyband's latest album

30 minutes later
i'm beginning to regret not listening to them earlier
is this why the girls in my school are crazy over them?
jeongguk seems to be enjoying it as much as i do
despite hearing his own voice
there's a small smile on his face
as he hums along

but that smile, that smile for some reason
does not reach his ears

after going through dozens of
music videos and live concerts
dealing with jeongguk's overexcited manner
of introducing his hyungs one by one
and also debating with him on who is the one
who appealed most to me
(he insists that i'm lying when i say
that it's not him, but we all already know)
it's already 15 minutes to midnight and a new day

jeongguk and i are walking side to side
under the falling snow
and i rub my palms together to warm them
when i begin to feel shivers

jeongguk doesn't say anything
instead he envelopes one of my hands in his
and pushes it into the pocket of his winter coat

"i hope it's warmer"
he says
and i catch his soft and tender gaze
"i don't want you feeling cold"

the urge to bring up his wound again
bites at me
but at this moment, this perfect moment
my heart can think of nothing else
but the way his hands hold mine

it's almost like they fit perfectly in his
and that they were made for him to hold
and only him

i just wish that my heart would stop beating so hard whenever he's close to me
and deep down
i wish he knows what he's doing to me

it's love and torture
walking under the first snow;
a soon-to-be wife and an innocent boy
who she learned to love
but isn't the one she's going to marry

it's love means bearing with whatever pain
it will bring you
no matter how much you feel like
you could break