Girls Talk [Girl x Girl]

Chapter Thirty-Nine- Jealous?

Not wanting to stay and have some kind of friendly conversation (which I was fairly sure was impossible at this point) I began to head back to my dorm.

Mine and Victoria's room. 

It just seemed as if the events of the morning had passed by way more quickly than I could possibly have thought they could. 

I had gone from blurting that I wanted to be with Victoria to her parents telling us that we couldn't, well, her father had, at least. Her mother had stayed pretty cool on the subject, for the most part.

Additionally, I wondered if what Victoria had said about her father cheating on her mother was really true. If so, I was mad too. 

I was more mad because I didn't know what was going to happen between Victoria and I. 

Pain comes into your life and you find yourself not knowing what to do, and feeling like you're completely irrational for feeling like that in the first place. After all, Victoria and I had spent so long not getting along, hardly talking to each other until now. Now everything had changed and changed again like a breath exhaling all it had previously contained and being replaced with something new. 

I hadn't been sat on my bed long contemplating everything before Victoria entered the room. 

"Uh..." she began, you could tell by her expression change that her mood had slumped somewhat, as had mine.

"Kate," she said quietly.

"I'm sorry," she continued.

Of course I understood. This was due to her parents, not me, not her. However, I was so mad in the moment that I probably blurted out more that I would later regret. 

 "So... that's that, huh? What happened to the Victoria I know? The one who doesn't take that crap! You're going to let them ruin whatever this is...because it wasn't just some thing..." My words had become more twisted than some very drunken people playing twister. 

I lowered my voice before speaking again, my heart rate slowly returning to normal,"You know how I feel, Victoria ," 

Something registered in her eyes, but Victoria just sighed. "Kate, I can't do this anymore," she said.

"Do what?" I asked.

"You're hardly even trying," I added.

I didn't feel like being there, because my head hurt, as did my chest, potentially due to an onset of anxiety induced by Victoria's parents words. I didn't understand it,; I didn't want this to happen, but being near Victoria hurt.

I began to head on over to the door, until Victoria cleared her throat which made me pause. 

"And you're not being understanding, Kate. There's nothing I can do, is there?" 

She had a point.

Maybe. 

Maybe, a small point, but still, it didn't stop how I felt, and the fact that I needed to be out of there. so, I left the room, and began to head off to create some copies of my art book to be posted in our class for next years' students. It felt slightly strange how far into the year we were already, and even more so that I was hanging my work on the walls, something I figured I would never have the confidence to do, but Fox's words from a few nights back resonated with me, perhaps I needed to stop doubting myself so much. 

I left the room, set in my thoughts to go somewhere, anywhere, as long as it was somewhere that could take me away from my internalised anxieties and worries about where I was going with Victoria.