Bruised Knuckles

13. don't forget about me

I walked home in the rain and with every breath exhaled, I replayed Axel's words in my brain. Ever since he saw me, he was gay. That's what he said, straight from his mouth just minutes ago. I couldn't help but smile, because for once in my life somebody saw me as a person, even if it sounded like nonsense.

The sidewalk sent water flinging onto my ankles with each step, getting the bottoms of Axel's sweatpants wet faster than the rest of my body. The rain was a slow drizzle now, just enough to be flurry and annoying, almost like an aerosol. I pressed my wet clothes against my stomach and held them with one hand as I continued to trek home.

When I walked inside, my mom had McDonald's bags on the counter. She was drinking a chocolate milkshake while sitting on the couch, legs up on the coffee table. Our TV seemed to be working despite the rain, the local news playing. She didn't acknowledge me when I walked inside, but it didn't even matter. I went straight to the counter to look for some breakfast.

As I searched through the bag for a breakfast sandwich, I hoped that the ruffling of my hands inside of the paper bag would cause her to say at least one word to me. It didn't. I kept up this behavior for a few more seconds until Devian's voice bombarded through the kitchen.
"GET AWAY FROM MY BREAKFAST SANDWICH!"

I put my hands up as I was innocent, backing away from the counter while he zipped in front of me and grabbed his breakfast sandwich from the McDonald's bag. I felt defeated again, peeking inside the crumpled bag once he left to find any remnants of greasy food. My fingers landed upon a piece of hash brown, stuffing it into my mouth as I turned around to rest my lower back against the counter.

"Hey mom, they don't even sell milkshakes this early?" I broke the silence, and quite frankly, I was annoyed that she didn't even acknowledge me coming home. She didn't even care where I was.

"I know people there pretty well," she said with a sly smirk and accompanying wink. I crinkled my face in disgust, hoping she didn't mean that in the way she implied it. I licked my thumb which had a bit of grease on it, pointing back to the empty bag, "Nothing for me in there?"

My mom let out an overly exuberant sigh, throwing her back while she whined, "You weren't home, sweet boy." I laughed right in her face at that comment, feeling my stomach rumble lowly at the measly taste of that hash brown.

"You can still get food for me!" I exclaimed with my arms out, trying to show her that I'm still part of this family and I am now more apparent than ever. I felt my eyes fill with hot anger, not tears, but pure anger and frustration. "I'm your son, remember? You're a mom, do you remember that, too?"

I could tell my words set her back a bit, her eyes softening at every new word spilling from my angry mouth. She set her milkshake down against the end table and stuffed both of her hands between her thighs, staring at them. "I know, I'm a failure," she said with a small crack in her voice. Half sounded like honestly and the other half sounded like bogus.

"All I'm asking is that maybe next time you can get some food for everyone in the family and maybe you can acknowledge me more," I said with crossed arms. I wasn't buying into her behavior and I found it a bit annoying, even more annoying than I already found her. We all knew Devian was the favorite and that's why he got the breakfast sandwich. Poor Aspen was probably quite as a mouse up in her room, also going to starve with me.

I uncrossed my arms and rolled my eyes, slamming my hand against the counter before rushing out the door, not saying anything to my mom who probably didn't even care.

Outside, the rain was nearly gone, and all that was left was what felt like a cool sea breeze. I heard birds squawking in the sky while I began walking. I started to shiver from the wind, inhaling a long breath which seemed to refresh my lungs.

I couldn't stop smelling the sea in each breeze that rolled over my body, so I walked to the closest pier. It was like my feet made the decision to walk, not my brain.

I used to spend a lot of time there a few years ago, freshman year to be exact. I would let my feet dangle just inches from the ocean, watching whatever sailed or swam by in front of me. I did it mainly to pass time away from my family, to be somewhere peaceful without anything but nature. Surprisingly, people rarely bothered me. They would cast their fishing rods in silence or just sit a few feet away from me. Nobody questioned eachother and nobody stared. Nobody gave a shit, and I loved it.

I got to the pier and sat down on the darkened, wet wood. My feet dangled at the same spot they did just a few years ago, the small ocean currents barely coming close to the soles of my shoes.

I took another deep breath, trying to sit up instead of slump. The white tufts on each little ocean current displayed just how rough the weather was today, which was something I heard an old fisherman say. I never was sure if he was talking to me or simply repeating it to the stubborn waters.

I felt the rain begin again, hard droplets falling into my hair and onto my thighs as I sat. I didn't move, until I felt the pier creak beneath my body.

I turned my head and saw Candace trudging up the weathered wood in a bright red rain jacket. Not going to lie, she was the absolute last person I thought I'd see.

"My father committed suicide here ten years ago," Candace explained with a dry tone, "I don't want you to be mentally questioning why I'm here."

I didn't make any facial expressions or movements, instead I just watched Candace sit down a few feet away from me.

"I'm sorry," I muttered with uncertainty on whether I should have spoken or not.

Candace shrugged and stared out into the water, blowing a single kiss into the rough sea, rain beginning to fall diagonally as she did so. I almost felt like I wasn't supposed to speak, or watch. It was too late now.

I shifted my view back out into the ocean.

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Sorry this is so sad. I updated early because someone (you know who you are) needed this chapter asap ;-)

In other news, we're entered in the #Wattys2016!