Telematic Interlude 2
Pier:
Hello, Cristiana!
You're very pretty!
Cristiana:
Thanks, you're not too bad yourself!
Pier:
What do you do for a living?
Cristiana:
I own a clothing store. And you?
Pier:
I'm a writer.
Cristiana:
Wow! What do you write?
Pier:
Novels, stories, poems...
Cristiana:
Do you have any children?
Pier:
Only spiritual children.
Cristiana:
Hahaha.
Pier:
Have they ever told you that your profile should have pictures of you and not just your favorite landscapes?
Cristiana:
I know, it lacks a full-body photo, but I'm slim and don't have crooked legs.
You're not very "spiritual" with women, though.
Pier:
The first impact is necessarily aesthetic.
Cristiana:
You're right. I focus all on the booty, though.
Pier:
You've convinced me. When do we go out?
Cristiana:
For the booty?
Pier:
Obviously.
Cristiana:
At least you're honest.
V
Born under the sign of Pisces, Cristiana is thirty-eight years old. I met her on Meetic, we matched, and she reached out first, bombarding me with messages. I played along, but having been burned before—not to mention the proven fact that ninety percent of women on dating apps are psychopaths—I demanded a full-body photo before meeting her. "Okay, chatterbox, let's see the full picture!" I insisted, not wanting to risk ending up with a heavyweight.
Cristiana is an odd one, the airy-fairy type, obsessed with magic and witchcraft, who gets her cards read by gypsies and claims to hear voices and converse with angels. However, since she has a nice rear and another skill I'll mention soon, I overlook these menopausal quirks.
"Do you know you live in an incredible place?" she says the first time she comes to my house.
"What do you mean?"
She beams, eyes sparkling with excitement. "There are... so many of them here!"
"Who are you talking about?"
"The spirits!"
"Spirits? What spirits?"
"I don't know," she laughs. "Maybe your ancestors!"
"If you say so."
"What can I say?" she exclaims, spreading her arms wide and twirling around. "I love them!"
"Who?" I ask, giving her a pointed look.
"The spirits!"
Just like that.
Cristiana is the typical Piscean kind of woman. As for my house being haunted, I give her the benefit of the doubt, especially since the villa is ancient and has seen its fair share of life and death. In fact, up in the attic, there was indeed a ghost until a few years ago. My grandfather even said he heard mysterious footsteps upstairs at night, in what was then an uninhabited attic. I've come to know this ghost, in a sense, because when I moved upstairs after the renovations, the cheeky spirit used to whisper in my ears as I tried to sleep. Once, I distinctly heard it speak a word in a female voice, and another time, in a half-sleep state, I thought I saw her standing by the dresser—a woman dressed in black.
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THE MALE CHAUVINIST - An Erotic Autobiography
General Fiction"This book is for adult audiences only as it contains sexually explicit scenes, offensive and sexist language which may be considered disturbing and discriminatory of race, gender, sexual orientation and religious faiths. As far as I'm concerned, I'...
