Sound of Silence: Secrets

Dallas (edited)

Once I got off of work I went to Beth's work to pick her up. West and I text one another to see who's picking up who. Since he's busy training I'm picking her up tonight.

The girls don't have a car of their own. I'm glad too. I'd be afraid that they'd pack up their stuff and hit the road to run from their problems.

The actual reason for them not having a car is the cost of the car and the insurance. I'll admit it was really hard at first and some months I find it hard to this day to pay for my car insurance but I do it.

It's hard living the life I live. I hate to say I'm better off than Red and Beth and recently West, but it's the truth. Since West hasn't been fighting he's not bringing in any money.

The only time he wins money is from street racing. That's where I make extra cash to splurge a little here or there.

There's one thing I won't do for money though no matter how bad my job pays and that's to work under Giovanni. I want nothing to do with him.

If you hear that name anywhere on the street it's best if you turn around and go back to where you came from. Once Giovanni has you under his thumb you'll be forever stuck there.

My job hardly pays me minimum wage do to the lack of business at the garage. I make up for what I don't get paid there with what the MC pays me.

I bring my focus back to the empty back roads that lead to the caffe Beth works at. I hate the fact that she has a job but she refuses to listen to me when I complain to her about it. I even had X and West try and convince her to quit as well but she won't listen.

She doesn't know why I don't want her to have the job. One of them is the fact that she's fragile. Beth and Red come off as two very confident and strong headed women.

In my eyes since I see them at their worst they're fragile. I'm a protector. I protect what needs to be protected and that's them.

I'm also afraid of some enemies I might have made throughout my time on the streets will go after her in revenge.

I'll never voice that thought to Beth nor Red, but I think the guys know exactly what's going through my head.

Since that tactic didn't work eventually I just straight up tell her to quit. I've even bribed her with money that's how much I hate that she has a job.

The girls know when we go out West and I cover the cost.

Or should I say try to.

This is when the confident and strong headed side of the two of them come out and they end up paying for themselves half of the time.

They say they don't want to be coddled. They're not. I'm taking care of those I love so we can survive together. So we're not split up in our stretch to the end of the system when we're supposed to age out.

Secretly West and I are proud that they've come so far. We all have. I just worry. A lot. That's another reason why I don't like her having a job. It causes me to worry.

If I worry then I'll be distracted. I can't be distracted when I'm out with the MC on a run, or making sure deals go smoothly.

If I'm worrying about her or Red then mistakes happen and I don't want one to be fatal.

I don't like the guys she works with or specifically one coworker of hers I don't like. I also don't like the fact that I can't keep an eye on her.

I feel as if I need to protect the women in my life to make up for the mistake of not being able to protect Dovie.

I hope one day whether we see each other or not, that she'll forgive me for that.