Saša

chapter:21

I am still inside that closet. I send away Katrina to look after the kids.
A knock came.
I didn't answer.
After few more knocks the door opened.
I didn't turn back to see who it was.
"I am sorry. I didn't know. I am extremely sorry. I cancelled the party"
It was that strawberry boy.
I still didn't look back.
Actually I didn't wanna let him see my miserable state.
I didn't wanna give him that much satisfaction.
"I am really sorry. I will go from here. I won't even contact voklov. Please just ... I don't wanna be the cause of your sadness"
"Don't think that high of yourself"
"I.. I.. I. Just plz. Am sorry"
I stood up and went in front of him.
He flinched.
"Listen you don't have to say sorry to me. I am just a mere toy for your voklov's pleasure. I will be out of this house the moment I can't pleasure him anymore. "
"What? It's not like you think...... "
I cut him in the middle "it actually doesn't even matter what I think. And plz drop this act. I saw how he looks at you. He never once looked at me with those eyes. What do you know? Huh!!! You know nothing. I even cut my blood relations for him. I took everything even the tag of a mistress. But in return he didn't even once give my a legal position in his life. I can't even marry him. You know I proposed him once. I know he still has a wife but I just wanted to marry him even it's a fake one. I wanted to marry him beside the sea. Even if I can't call him my husband. But do you know what he did? He didn't even looked at the ring. He left me there. I was on my knees for twenty minutes hoping He would return and accept the ring. But no he didn't. All he said not to do that again. Why? Why should not I? I accepted every thing that he gave me. I even clear out his other relationships so the media can't get a single proof. How much should I do? He changed even my own body and didn't ask my permission for once." I was shouting crying at this point. I didn't want to but I couldn't control my breakdown now " You know what his family calls me? Voklov's boy toy. ..
After this much sacrifice I am still his boy toy. I can't even take my kids with me if one day voklov doesn't want me anymore. I feed them out of my body but still I am nothing. I can't even join the conversation of his family. I am not that worthy. And they just threw a party for you. I did not once get an invitation from that household. Not once. Why? Am I less human? I am breaking my bones everyday to make their son happy, to keep their heir alive. Why can't they even wish me once? "
"Queen.. I think you should calllm down. You are getting hyper.. Plz "
"Queen. Don't mock me. I am just a queen of name. You know even the servants here make jokes about me. Whenever I am walking down those stairs, I hear their laugh. They say I am not even a man now. I still walk with my head high. You know why? Cause I have nothing. Nothing. Voklov doesn't even take me to his legal functions. Do you know what they say after everytime he takes a model with him? He is ashamed of me. He never once stood beside me. Never once gave me recognition. But do you know what's the fun here? They are right. I am just a boy toy. I can't even call myself a boy now. Look my boobs. They lactate. What kind of a lactate? I... Am.. Not.. Even a man" I whispered
I stood silently in front of him.

The clock made a sound indicating it's 12 o'clock...
I smiled big " Happy birthday. Wish you a blessed year. Wait" I went inside the closet and pulled out my glitter box. I handed it to him" I brought it from Morocco. I heard it brings good energy. I hold on to it with hope that one day I would also get good blessings from the stars. But it's already eight months, nothing good happened...ever. I hope it works for you. "
He was shaking now at this point.
"Queen.....
" Don't call me queen. I am not worthy. Not in front of you. Call me sasa. You should go. He must be waiting. "
I went outside my room without giving him a single look.
I went to my garden. My peace.

I took a deep breath and smiled enjoying the cool breeze.
"Happy birthday to me"

I was feeling hot. I tried to open my eyes but it was too much bright.
I sat and realized I am still in the garden.
No one even looked for me .
I smiled sadly.
I was going through the corridor. I could see everyone running here and there. Every servant was busy.
For the first time the servants didn't bow in front of me.
I think they now know my position got handed over to someone else.
I then changed my direction.
I should see the kids.
They must be hungry.
I was about to enter the room.
But my world crumbled into earth now.
The door was half closed and I could see Voklov and Sergei feeding my boys. They didn't like powder milk. Then why they were so happy today?
My legs were numb.
They don't need me anymore.

I ran..
I ran nonstop..
I don't know where I am going
But I have to
I couldn't tolerate anymore
I stopped in front of the giant gate
It was not opening
The guards came abruptly
They were trying to make me understand, they can't do anything with out permission from king
I took a gun from one guard
Immediately there was a siren
I panicked
"Open now"
"Queen listen.. Plz drop the gun"
I see a car coming
I recognize that car
It's Jim
He came out
"What has happened? Sasa what are you doing? Leave that gun"
"Jim. I.. Plz take me... I can't anymore.. Plz... "
"Leave it sasa. Ok I will take you. Leave it plz"
I got hope.
I was about to drop the gun but suddenly a hand took my hand and raised the gun.
I panicked and saw voklov.
He was holding my hand and aimed at the guards.
"Wifey you should aim perfectly. I taught you good"
He in a blink of an eye shot every guard there. No he made me shot them.
I was shaking.
I was about to fall, he hold me tight.
I was about to lose my consciousness.

He kissed my head and whispered,
"Happy birthday wifey. Let's go open your gifts. Your sons are waiting"

I was in a delirium state. My eyes we're half dropped.
I think I didn't eat anything, that's taking a toll on me.
I was feeling like flying.
I sensed a strong Woody smell.
I think it's Voklov's Cologne..
It felt good.
I leaned more into him.
"It's good" I mumbled

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The chapters got misplaced
So read chapter 22 first then  23