VOLUME | ONC 2023

8. Ethics & Plea Deals

Harriet...

I sat cross-legged, hunched over a spread of letters and photographs. The Lotty box lay beside me atop the scruffy motel duvet, my archaic laptop close to it.

With great care, I set the cabin letter down near my socked foot.

I was surprised by how detailed my grandmother had been in her letters to her trusted friend.

I wondered if she felt alone and desperate, with no one to tell but the woman who'd bore witness to their coupling. She and my great aunt had been close but I could tell, by the diction in her handwritten passages, that she held shame. Her sister was younger than she – the distance in their ages made me believe that she probably knew little more than I did.

Thumbing through my contacts, I found my great aunt's name, pressing the call button.

"Harriet! Is that you?"

I smirked. Surely, she could see the caller ID on her phone.

"Hi, Auntie Thea. It's me!"

We exchanged pleasantries but I was eager to siphon answers, however deep her well was.

"I know this might sound weird but did Grandma ever mention anything about an old relationship? I know she never married but did she ever say anything?"

"Lizzie was notoriously private – you know that. Even with me, she rarely shared those things. Thinking back, there may have been a guy once – this would've been years ago though."

"What'd she say?"

"Oh, goodness. She didn't really say anything. I used to catch her sneaking in late some nights. She was grown by then but Daddy still wasn't having none of that come-home-when-you-please stuff. The second time I caught her, she paid me a quarter to keep my mouth shut. If I'd have saved them quarters...," the woman's rich laughter hummed across the line.

"Oh, wow. When was this?"

"I would've been in high school at the time. Maybe fourteen or fifteen... So she was in her early twenties? She was working at that... lenient law firm in town, I believe."

I didn't ask what she meant by lenient.

"And you think she was sneaking around with a boy?"

"Oh, she had to be sweet on somebody. When her nose wasn't stuck in one of those big fat legal books, she was daydreamin'. I think Daddy knew it too but she was keeping bread on the table," her voice lowered significantly, "I think she was probably makin' more than Daddy at the time."

Such pressure she must've been under, "I didn't know..."

"Oh, yeah. Anyway, I never heard Daddy or Mama gripe about it if they suspected anything. You know...now that I think about it, I wonder if she was afraid of their disapproval. Lizzie was the smart one; she was the one who would go on to do great things. I'm sure she felt like marriage and kids were secondary to a career. I can bet you money she didn't want Daddy to think she wasn't focused. Her discipline only increased after Mama got sick."

"That's a lot of responsibility... trying to help carry an entire family."

Aunt Thea made a sassy sound, "Such is the plight of many a black woman."

"Ain't that the truth. Well, I guess I'll leave you be. I appreciate you for answering."

"Anytime, baby. Anytime. You doin' okay?"

I smiled, picking up a photograph of Lotty and my grandmother, "I'm good. Just tying up loose ends."

"I know you miss her. She'd be so proud of you, Harriet. When does school start back?"