Through sickness and in health

31

Wednesday

"Are you sure you don't want to call your dad? Maybe ask him to do it another time" i ask Jason, he's sat in the passenger seat in the car, his head in his hands whilst he massages his temples.
"Does your head hurt?" I ask taking my eyes off the road for a second, concern floods through me seeing him holding his head like that again.
"Lexie!" He shouts, I look back to the road quickly swerving the wheel. My hearts hammering In my chest.
"Jason! Put your fucking seatbelt on!" I shout, I didn't mean to shout at him. My whole body is shaking with fear, seeing the car right in front of us and nearly getting into a car crash makes me feel so stupid.

"Stop shouting" he sighs, he takes my sun glasses from the glovebox and puts them on. Even though it's 6pm and getting dark.
"Sorry, just put your seatbelt on we nearly got into a fucking car crash" I sigh keeping my eyes locked on the road now.
"Maybe stop paying so much attention to me and you wouldn't swerve the car into the other side of the fucking road" he huffs
"Im sorry I'm worried about you!" I yell, tears start blurring my vision so I blink them away and try to focus on the road.
"Hey" Jason sighs putting his hand on my thigh.
"Pull over, let me drive" he says softly, I look over at him for a second seeing his gaze is already on me.
"Your not cleared to drive. And your still on chemo until Friday" I sigh shaking my head.
"Babe I feel fine, I haven't thrown up since we got back from school. It's only 15 minutes to your house come on" I know I shouldn't given he's on chemo.
"Babe come on it's been ages since I've driven, at least give me 15 minutes. It's not even they busy" he turns to me, his hazel brown eyes stare up at me as he pouts his lip. It's all an act, I know this but I'm not sure I could say no to him.
"Fine fine" I sigh, I pull over to a gas station and switch places with Jason. He wears a big smile on his face and buckles his seatbelt.
"If we crash it's on you for trusting me" with that he goes back onto the road and drives to my house, leaving me in the passenger seat gaping at him in disbelief.

*~*

"See we're here, alive and well" Jason says looking at me. I roll my eyes and slap him gently on the shoulder as I shove past him to the front door. He just smirks his stupid hot smirk that makes my heart melt whilst I walk inside.
"Jason!" Mom squeals walking over to us, she pulls him into a tight hug. Dad laughs from the kitchen whilst I watch this awkward exchange. Jason's never been much of a hugger to people, he's clingy with me in an affectionate way but that's because we're dating. His arms hang limply at his side as mom has her arms wrapped around him and her head laying on his shoulder, a big smile on her face that meets her eyes.

"Hug her back" I mouth seeing him looking at me with the 'what the fuck do I do?' Look on his face. He hesitates lifting his hands for a second before patting her back, I cringe as dad tries not to laugh. Then his arms wrap around her back as he relaxes. Finally mom breaks away from Jason and smiling at him.
"We missed you" she nods walking into the kitchen followed by dad after he pats Jason on the shoulder.
"God that was weird" I laugh looking at jason. I watch as his whole body relaxes and he nods,
"Dinner is ready come sit at the table" dad peaks his head around to where we're still standing in front of the door.
"Are you eating?" I ask jason. I noticed he's gone quiet, I can already tell what he's thinking but I feel the need to make him say it.
"I'm not hungry" he shrugs putting his overnight backpack down.
"Babe-" he shakes his head and squints his eyes for a second which makes me even more concerned.
"Lex, I love you but I'm really...n-not-"
I watch as his eyes drift to the side. He starts wobbling on his feet for a second and blinking. Then his whole body falls limp and he falls.

"Mom!" I shout, i manage to catch his torso and head before it hits the floor. I cradle his head, moving his hair out of his eyes patting his cheek lightly to try and wake him.
"What happened?" Mom says running over. She pauses seeing Jason in my arms, tears fall down my cheeks as I hold his head close. His eyes flutter open as he looks up at me and his surroundings confused for a moment.
"Babe you passed out. Stay still for a minute. Does your head hurt?" I ask him, he stares at me still but doesn't move. His eyes look around trying to adjust to his surroundings and comprehend what happened.

"Jason your head?" I ask, I look behind me seeing my dad standing near the wall with a concerned look on his face and mom running over with a cold towel and water.
"Don't be embarrassed" I whisper kissing his cheek.
"I just passed out in your house" he whispers rolling his eyes.
"Here. Let's get you upstairs so you can lie down" mom smiles handing him a cup of water. He takes a sip nodding and pulls himself to stand as I hold him up and he gets his footing.
"I'm sorry" he sighs as we walk for the stairs. I go slow, judging by how he's blinking and how slow he's walking his head is probably hurting but he's just embarrassed or refusing to show it or tell me.

When we get upstairs I help him into the bed, pulling off his hoodie so he's just in a shirt and helping him with his shoes.
"Keep the cold compress on his head, I'll message Melissa just to let her know. Shout me if you need anything, I'll bring your dinner up on trays" mom smiles kissing me on the cheek.
I walk back over to the bed placing the cold towel on Jason's forehead and sitting next to him. Worry floods through me as I go to turn on the tv.
"It's just the chemo. Makes me dizzy" Jason says like he can read what I'm thinking.
"I know, it still worries me when I'm sat on the floor holding onto your head and hoping your not hurt after passing out" I mumble. He sighs sitting up and pulling me into him.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm not made of glass, I'm fine" he whispers kissing my head.
"The chemo scares me" I say into his chest.
"I promised I'd fight it. This is what it takes. I need to get back onto that baseball field and I need to get back to this life we're creating" he says. I smile looking up at him. His hairs grown a lot recently, you can hardly even tell where the surgery was now. His dirty blonde hair sits on his head, I feel the urge to run my fingers through it whilst he sits between my legs and we watch outerbanks.

It was so much easier before he was diagnosed.

Everything was so much easier. My biggest worries were my grades and my job, his biggest worries where his mom and baseball.