Everything I Need

33

Kyler pats the right side of her hospital bed as she is looking at me. "Lay with me, please." She says and her voice sounds so vulnerable. It breaks my heart to see her like this. I miss my happy, confident, flirty, loving and mouthy wife. I hesitantly stand and step towards the bed. She shifts to the left just a little to make sure there's enough room and I watch as the pain from moving shows across her beautiful face. Kyler slightly smiles at me and motions for me to lay beside her. I carefully settle on the bed, rest my head on her chest and bury my face into her neck. I just need to be as close as possible to my wife.

Silence fills the room as I'm laying beside Kyler. I was scared I would hurt her by laying down beside her but we were careful and made it work. I'm happy to be laying beside Kyler and I feel like a giddy teenager for some reason. When we kissed earlier there was just a feeling I can't describe that washed over me. I'm so worried about her because she blames herself for what Mike did and she seems to believe his hateful words. I need her to understand that none of this is her fault. I need my wife back and fr her not to try and push me away.

"Kyler?" She hums as an answer but doesn't say anything. I move my head back so I can look at her and her eyes are closed even though I know she is not asleep because of the way her breathing changes when she sleeps. "Kyler, look at me please." She does and I know it's now or never to say what I need to say and hopefully get through to her.

"I thought about what you said before when you went back to sleep after I left to get the doctor. You are right, everything does come back to you but not because you're to blame or because you're the problem. Everything comes back to you because of love. You are the love of my life and that's why everything comes back to you."

Kyler shakes my head no but I continue talking. "I promise you're not to blame. If anyone other than Mike is to blame for this it's me. Mike found out about us after he came back for me. He was mad that I left him and even said nobody walks away from him. That was why he originally came back, not because we were together. Yes, that pissed him off when he found out we were married but I'm the one that left him and he apparently couldn't handle rejection very well. The only thing about the whole situation that would change if you were not with me is the fact that you would not be hurt and here in this hospital. It's also possible that if you were not in my life that I would probably be dead or would have been sexually assaulted or both would have happened."

Kyler opens her mouth and I know she wants to say something but I sternly say "let me say what I need to say and you listen. I just need you to listen." She nods her head in understanding and I see a light blush tint her cheeks and she clears her throat.

"People will probably always have something to say about our relationship. Some might even have very hateful things to say about our relationship or about us in general, even people that are supposed to be friends or family. What matters is not letting all the hate get to us. What matters is not letting the hateful words get inside our heads to the point we believe them. Obviously I'm a perfect example of letting that happen but you have helped me overcome that just like I'm here to help you."

"It doesn't matter if some people believe we jumped into our relationship too soon or that it wasn't right. It doesn't matter that we met the way we did and fell in love even if at the time it was unethical. Even if we would have met a different way or years later, we would still end up together. You yourself had said you were going to apply to The Art Institute of San Antonio before you had to leave Pensacola and move here. You applied right after moving here before we were even together. Our paths would have eventually crossed and I am absolutely sure of that. We were meant to be and would have eventually found each other one way or another."

"When you meet the love of your life, you just know. No matter how scary it seems or what obstacles you have to overcome to be together or how much you try to deny it, you just know. Sometimes you might even feel like you're going crazy because of the differences in age, jobs or any other situations."

"When you take that leap of faith and everything falls into place you know it was worth it. Sometimes you find the love of your life when and where you least expect. The overwhelming feeling of love, satisfaction and pure joy makes everything you had to overcome to be in that moment and to be together seem miniscule and you know it was meant to be. It makes all the previous heartache, bad relationships, sleepless nights and finally letting go to embrace your feelings worthwhile and it's such a beautiful thing."

"Love is a beautiful, powerful and sometimes terrifying thing. We will have ups and downs but we will always make it through because we love each other. Our love for each other has made every obstacle we've had to overcome and every negative comment irrelevant. At times it seemed impossible, too risky and sometimes hopeless but listening to my heart and giving us a chance is the most wonderful thing I have ever done. We are soulmates and I know you know that too. Our connection is so strong that we were drawn to each other in a way I have never experienced. Our connection has only grown and our love only deepened to the point I realize I had never truly loved or been loved until you. Loving you, being loved by you and sharing our lives together is the greatest thing in the world."