3 | home sweet home

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MY MIND WAS IN A MILLION DIFFERENT PLACES AT ONCE

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MY MIND WAS IN A MILLION DIFFERENT PLACES AT ONCE. After the initial shock of learning about my siblings, and the fact that there were seven of them, now I was curious. What happened between my mother and father? Why did she take only me with her? What were my siblings like? I didn't dare to ask any of these questions; who knew if I could even trust these people? Instead I just sat in silence, gazing out the car window lost in thought. I caught a glimpse of my reflection, with my mother's intense green eyes and her wavy, almost jet black hair. I was a carbon copy of her, even sharing the same dark circles and hopeless expression. I didn't want to think about her. I didn't want to think about any of this. I leaned my head against the car door and closed my eyes, willing sleep to come but it never did.

Relatives or not, I still couldn't get myself to trust them. Even on the walk to the car, I felt anxious about being in the same space with them alone. But I never let it show. I just kept that same cold "don't fuck with me" look that I carried 99% of the time. After the one word I spoke in the room, I haven't said another since and planned on keeping it that way as long as I could. They tried to engage in a conversation, but I just stared off with that blank look on my face and every once in a while gave them minuscule shrugs or nods. Eventually they just gave up, probably guessing that I had a long day and would talk later on. The entire thing made me uneasy. I wasn't sure how long we would be in the car, but I was actually hoping it'd be a while. If I felt like this already and it was just the two, I didn't even want to think about what it would be like with them all.

"Is she asleep?" Dax, the brown-haired one whispered a few minutes after I closed my eyes. As I heard Eli turn around in his seat, I didn't dare move an inch, waiting silently for his response.

"I think so," he said quietly, pondering it for a moment. When I figured he had stopped looking, I shifted my position and listened in on their conversation. "She looks a lot like Mom used to, doesn't she?"

"She does." Dax sighed, and I wished that I could see the expression on his face. "But who she really reminds me of is Ezekiel, especially when he was younger. The looks, the expression, everything. They're so similar." More questions rose in my mind, curious about who he was talking about.

"Yeah, but Zeke has more of an... aggressive streak. She seems harmless." I had the urge to let out a snort, but I held myself back. If harmless was the word that came to mind when they thought of me, then they were either genuinely clueless or just dumber than I thought they were.

Dax chuckled dryly without a hint of humor. "So did he, and you know how that turned out. If she was living with Mom, then who knows how the hell she was raised." Every word he spoke made it harder to maintain a straight face. Of course he was right; the rational side of me knew that. But the way he talked about her still made my blood boil.

"You could at least wait a day or two after she died to insult her, you know," Eli said heatedly, and I could tell that he definitely hit a sore spot. Dax scoffed in return.

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