Loss Fragment

CHAPTER 22: You Are Enough

Ella POV

So, we are a 'thing' now. For some reason that sounds more like a question rather than a statement.

Yes, we are a 'thing' now.

That still doesn't sound very convincing.

I guess because things happened fast? I'm still not completely sure if this is the right thing to do. But, like what Max said, he is here, I'm here, we met for some reason, and I do feel something for him.

So, why not give this a try?

But, you promised!

Yes, I know. I promised Damon was my last. I know I loved him. I felt him. I still strongly ache for him.

But, do I still love him?

I don't know.

All I know is, I cry a lot. Remembering bit by bit of my past hurts. I don't remember them all. But, what I remember ends up with me crying myself to sleep.

Maybe that was what I'm worth.

Maybe I don't deserve to be happy.

I wasn't good at this relationship thing.

What about Max? Did he seriously think that I'm worth it? Why would he want to be more with me?

I'm a nobody. I'm just a really broken girl with half a heart who may not be able to give him all. I haven't been completely myself for a long time now.

While Maxwell is something else. He is perfect. He has the look. He has money. The good, perfect life. Great job. He literally has everything. He is the kind of man I asked in my past, when I was a whole me.

I remember wishing for a man who would love me like I was everything he ever needed and wanted. A man who would make it clear that I'm his and he is mine. Someone who would make me his priority.

I didn't have that with Damon.

I remember wishing someday Damon would be that.

That, didn't happen.

He loved me but I wasn't his priority. He loved me but he didn't need or want me as bad as I needed or wanted him.

I guess I have always knew that he felt I wasn't the one. That's why he can't commit. He loved me, but I wasn't enough, for him.

I gave him my all.

But, I still wasn't enough.

I kept giving. In time, I lost a big part of me. Hoping that I would be enough.

And, he left.

If you really love someone, you fight for them. You fight with them. You don't leave.

Right?

"I wasn't enough. I won't be enough for you." I put my fork down. And, look down at my food. I'm not hungry anymore.

Max didn't say anything.

I look up and find him staring at me. He leaned forward and held my hand.

"I'm not him. I haven't known you long, but all I know from what I've seen and what I've learned in this short time, you are more than enough for me. He was stupid for leaving you but I'm thankful that he did. Otherwise we wouldn't have met." He said each word by word while looking me in the eyes.

He looks like he meant it.

Did he really mean it, though?

I had always prayed for a man who would love me, not more, not less, but just as much as I did him.